Loss and Abandonment 失去和遗弃 The unavailability or threat of loss of her mother produces a situation in which the basic anxiety of loss is countered by the child's clinging excessively to the symbiotic tie with the mother. We have some indications from Mahler's careful studies that in the face of the mother's relative unavailability any movement toward separation is overburdened with the threat of loss and abandonment(Mahler,1968). The child must cling to the mother and becomes excessively dependent on the mother's support and affection. Such a child becomes a victim. Gloria was trapped between the terrifying threat of loss and abandonment on one hand and the threat of her mother's hostility and rejection on the other. The basic issue for Gloria lay at a very primitive level of symbiotic attachment, an attachment that was continually frustrated and denied. At a very fundamental level her pathology was rooted in the issues of separation and individuation. 失去母亲的无助或威胁产生了这样一种情况:失去母亲的基本焦虑被孩子对母亲共生关系的过度依赖所抵消。马勒的仔细研究表明，面对母亲的相对不可得，任何走向分离的运动都背负着失去和被遗弃的威胁(马勒，1968)。孩子必须贴紧母亲，变得过分依赖母亲的支持和关爱。这样的孩子就成了受害者。格洛丽亚一方面面临着失去和被遗弃的可怕威胁，另一方面又面临着母亲的敌意和拒绝。格洛丽亚的基本问题在于一种非常原始的共生依恋，这种依恋不断地被挫败和否定。在一个非常基本的层面上，她的病理根源于分离和个体化的问题。 In the wake of this primitive and initial unavailability of her mother, the subsequent events which served to separate Gloria even further from her mother came as traumatic events in an already pathological relationship. Less than two years after Gloria's birth her younger sister was born. Once again Mrs.G. suffered an acute exacerbation of her more or less chronic depression. Added to the problems created by the coming of a second child—a rival for her mother's limited reserve of affection—there was the increased withdrawal created by her mother's postpartum depression. This only served to intensify Gloria's sense of loss. Then she was forced to share the limited and relatively unavailable store of affection with her sister. 在她母亲最初无法陪伴她的情况下，后来发生的事情使格洛里亚与母亲的关系更加疏远，这是一段已经病态的关系中的创伤性事件。格洛丽亚出生后不到两年，她的妹妹就出生了。G.夫人的慢性抑郁症又一次发作了。除了第二个孩子的到来带来的问题——与她竞争母亲有限的情感储备——还有母亲产后抑郁症带来的越来越多的退缩。这只会加剧歌洛莉亚的失落感。然后，她被迫与妹妹分享有限的、相对难以获得的感情。 We can imagine how all of this was complicated by Gloria's angry and resentful feelings. She must have felt that her hateful and resentful wishes toward her mother were driving her mother away from her. It was this very thought that Gloria often expressed in her therapy, that if people knew how horrible and evil she was they would reject her and turn away from her. She felt that her angry feelings drove people away; she had after all let Peter know some of her feelings and he had run away from her and reiected her. The pattern of self-blame reached an apogee when Gloria's mother became psychotically depressed after the birth of the third child, Glenda. Gloria was convinced that she was the responsible agent for her mother's sickness and unhappiness. She had lost her mother in a real sense, but, more than having lost her, she had driven her away. But the pain of loss reached back to a very primitive level of her experience when the threat of loss and abandonment colored her earliest experiences. Gloria remarked at one point in her therapy with considerable insight that she had lost her mother and it had taken her many years to weep over it. 我们可以想象格洛丽亚的愤怒和怨恨情绪使这一切变得多么复杂。她一定感到，她对母亲的仇恨和怨恨使她的母亲离开了她。格洛丽亚在她的治疗中经常表达的就是这种想法，如果人们知道她是多么邪恶，他们就会拒绝她，远离她。她感觉到她的愤怒把人们赶走了;她毕竟让彼得知道了她的一些感受，而彼得已经逃离了她，拒绝了她。当格洛丽亚的母亲在生了第三个孩子格伦达后变得精神抑郁时，这种自责的模式达到了顶点。格洛丽亚确信她是她母亲生病和不快乐的罪魁祸首。她真的失去了母亲，但她不仅失去了她，还把她赶走了。但是，当失去和被抛弃的威胁给她早期的经历染上色彩时，失去的痛苦又回到了她最原始的体验阶段。格洛丽亚在她的治疗过程中有一次深刻地意识到，她失去了母亲，她为此哭了很多年。