Abandonment and Longing 抛弃与渴望 The woman continued her sexual involvement with him for a time, but then began to think better of it. She started to pull back from the relationship. Henry's response was to become increasingly depressed and suicidal. Finally, one night after she had refused intercourse with him, Henry fled from the hospital threatening suicide. The whole process was a step-by-step repetition of the pattern of involvement he had experienced with his wife and with his several girl friends. He had become quickly immersed in the relationship to the point at which his intense needs for closeness were brought into operation. The impelling peremptoriness of his demands then acted to frighten the woman and to make the relationship more difficult and problematic than loving. As the object began to draw away, Henry would begin to feel the intense sense of abandonment and longing, as well as the intense rage that went along with it. The rage against the abandoning object was turned into depressive affect and suicidal ideation. 这名女子继续与他保持了一段时间的性关系，但随后开始重新考虑这段关系。她开始从这段关系中抽身。亨利的反应是变得越来越抑郁，并产生了自杀念头。最后，有一天晚上，在她拒绝与他发生性关系后，亨利逃离了医院，并扬言要自杀。整个过程与他之前与妻子和几位女友的经历如出一辙，是一步步重复着的模式。他迅速沉浸在这段关系中，以至于他那种对亲密关系的强烈需求被激发了出来。他那种迫切且强硬的要求吓到了这名女子，让这段关系变得比相爱更难维持，也更具问题性。当对方开始疏远他时，亨利开始感到强烈的被抛弃感和渴望，以及随之而来的强烈愤怒。他对抛弃他的对象感到愤怒，这种愤怒进而转化为抑郁情绪和自杀念头。 During his excursion from the hospital Henry called his father on the telephone. In his deep longing and in the face of his feelings of rejection and abandonment, he turned regressively to the earlier and ambivalently wished-for object. Once again the yearning was to be frustrated and rebuffed. His father was not in the least sympathetic with Henry's difficulties. He told his son angrily that psychiatry was a load of bunk and that the only trouble with Henry was that he was lazy. If he were to get off his ass and get a job, everything would be all right. He also refused to help Henry in any way. The son's response to this was not unlike that he had always had to his father-frustrated rage and pained disappointment. The experience revivified his feelings that his father had never wanted or cared about him, that he could never talk to his father, and that any contact with him was only going to be hurtful. His father told him never to call again until he had made a success of himself. This triggered off a series of intense outbursts of bitter resentment against the uncaring father who had given him nothing, had left him with rapacious and manipulating relatives, and who had done nothing to help him make his way in life. Henry bitterly blamed his father for the fact that he was a failure, that he could never be a success. 逃离医院期间，亨利给父亲打了电话。在深深的渴望与被拒绝、被抛弃的感受交织之下，他退行性地转向了早期那个让他心存矛盾、又渴望又惧怕的对象。再一次，他的渴望遭到了挫败和拒绝。父亲对亨利的困境没有丝毫同情。他愤怒地告诉儿子，精神病学全是胡说八道，亨利唯一的问题就是懒惰。如果他能动起来去找份工作，一切都会好起来的。他还拒绝以任何方式帮助亨利。儿子的反应与以往对父亲的反应如出一辙——愤怒又失望，心痛不已。这次经历让他再次确信，父亲从未想要过他，也从未关心过他，他永远无法和父亲沟通，任何与父亲的接触都只会让他受伤。父亲告诉他，在他成功之前，永远不要再打电话来。这引发了他一连串激烈的爆发，对这位冷漠无情的父亲充满了苦涩的怨恨。父亲什么也没给他，只给他留下了贪婪又爱操纵的亲戚，对他的人生道路没有任何帮助。亨利苦涩地责怪父亲，认为自己的失败、自己永远无法成功，都是父亲的错。 The hospital affair provided a template for the repetitious pattern of involvement, disappointment, and self-destructive wishes that had become a familiar theme in Henry's life. His inner needs for closeness and passive dependence led him into relationships with women that quickly and easily became too close and highly sexualized. Part of the impetus derived from his infantile wishes and needs, but part also derived from his homosexual wishes and fears. The desired closeness to the female served as a buffer and a defense against homosexual wishes, behind which, of course, lay the frustrated yearnings for closeness to the father. These impetuous needs seemed inevitably to draw him into inappropriate relationships, those in which any semblance of close and meaningful union was foredoomed. As the relationship heated up and became increasingly intimate, Henry's infantile wishes to merge with and totally encompass the object were swept into action. The frightening intensity of these wishes caused the woman to withdraw. The withdrawal was felt by Henry as a recrudescence and reenactment of the loss and abandonment he had felt when his mother died. The unresolved grief, the sense of loss and abandonment, of inner despair, of disappointment leading to frustrated rage, and the turning of rage into depressive channels, brought him to a paroxysm of self-destructive agony. His suicidal ideas and gestures were an attack against the frustrating and rejecting objects—at the most superficial level the immediate object, the woman who could not be totally possessed, and at a deeper level the lost mother and the unreachable father. 医院的这段经历为亨利生活中那种重复的卷入、失望和自我毁灭的愿望模式提供了一个范本。他对亲密和被动依赖的内在需求，使他迅速且轻易地陷入与女性的关系中，这些关系很快变得过于亲密且高度性化。这种冲动的部分动力来源于他孩童般的愿望和需求，但另一部分也源自他的同性恋愿望和恐惧。他渴望与女性亲近，以此作为缓冲和防御，来抵御同性恋的愿望，而在这背后，隐藏的当然是对与父亲亲近的受挫渴望。这些冲动的需求似乎不可避免地将他拖入不恰当的关系中，那些看似亲密且有意义的结合其实早已注定会以失败告终。随着关系升温，变得越来越亲密，亨利那种孩童般的、想要与对方融合并完全占有对方的愿望被激发了出来。这些愿望的强烈程度令人畏惧，导致女方开始退缩。亨利将这种退缩感受为母亲去世时他所感受到的丧失和被抛弃感的再度涌现。未解决的悲伤、丧失和被抛弃感、内心的绝望、失望引发的愤怒，以及愤怒转化为抑郁情绪，让他陷入了自我毁灭的痛苦煎熬中。他的自杀念头和举动，是对那些令他受挫、拒绝他的客体的攻击——在最表层，是眼前的对象，那个他无法完全占有的女人；在更深的层次，是逝去的母亲和遥不可及的父亲。 Then one day he suddenly disappeared from the hospital. He wrote several subsequent letters. He returned to the town where he had been a dental student. He returned to treatment with his former therapist, got a job, and was hoping to reenter dental school and finish his studies. I could not help but wonder whether the therapeutic process had generated enough insight to enable him to avoid the pitfalls of his remarkable repetition compulsion, or whether he had achieved a plateau from which he would once again stumble blindly and fall. 然后有一天，他突然从医院消失了。之后，他写了几封信。他回到了他曾就读牙科专业的那个小镇。他重新开始接受以前治疗师的治疗，找到了一份工作，并且希望能重返牙科学校完成学业。我不禁想，治疗过程是否已经让他获得了足够的洞察力，使他能够避开自己那种显著的强迫性重复行为的陷阱，还是说他只是达到了一个稳定状态，之后又会再次盲目地跌倒。