Growing Up Without Father 没有父亲陪伴的成长 Her childhood performance was in fact generally precocious. She recalled that she walked and talked at a very early age, and particularly that she was toilet trained by the time she was a year old. She remembered that there was a family story to the effect that when her father returned from his first absence, when she was only eighteen months of age, the family went out to a restaurant and she was able to sit at the table and eat with the adults. She regarded this precocity in her training a result of her mother's obsessional disposition. As a result, she regards herself as having been excessively neat and orderly and controlled even as a very young child. 事实上，她童年时期的表现总体上是早熟的。她回忆说，她很小的时候就会走路和说话，尤其是在她一岁的时候，她就接受了上厕所的训练。她记得有一个家庭故事，大意是说，当她父亲第一次离开家回来的时候，她才18个月大，全家去了一家餐馆，她能够坐在餐桌旁和大人们一起吃饭。她认为她在训练中的早熟是由于她母亲的强迫性格造成的。因此，即使是很小的时候，她也认为自己过于整洁、有序和克制。 She recalled that in the years of her growing up she was extremely sensitive to any criticism or any accusation. Whenever anyone would indicate displeasure with her or indicate that she had not in some way measured upto expectations, she would feel incredible guilt. Apparently her mother was particularly able to utilize this emerging aspect of her character as a way of keeping her under control. Later on in the higher grades in high school, this sensitiveness continued and she would become extremely upset and sometimes even hysterical when things would happen to disappoint her, or her peers would in one or other fashion reject her or cause her to feel inadequate. In these early years, she seemed to have been somewhat excessively dependent on her mother. Whenever something happened to frighten or upset her, she would run to her mother for consolation and protection. This pattern was probably reinforced by the absence of her father and the obsessive concern and solicitousness of her mother. 她回忆说，在她成长的岁月里，她对任何批评或指责都极其敏感。每当有人对她表示不满或表示她在某种程度上没有达到预期时，她就会感到难以置信的内疚。显然，她的母亲特别能够利用她性格中这一新兴的方面来控制她。后来到了高中高年级，这种敏感还在继续，当事情让她失望，或者她的同龄人以某种方式拒绝她，或者让她觉得自己不够格的时候，她会变得极度沮丧，有时甚至歇斯底里。在最初的几年里，她似乎有点过分依赖她的母亲。每当有什么事使她害怕或不安时，她就会跑到母亲那里寻求安慰和保护。这种模式可能是由于她父亲的缺席和母亲的过分关心和关怀而强化的。 In high school the problems of popularity and attractiveness began to assert themselves. It was extremely important for her that she be well liked by her classmates and that she establish herself as one of the more popular girls. Anything which threw that status into question was extremely upsetting and troublesome for her. Increasingly she became aware of herself as an attractive female, but had difficulty with this in face of the rather repressive sexual attitudes of her parents, particularly her mother. Her mother would not allow her to dress in a more mature fashion or to wear lipstick or high heels until she was about sixteen. It was only then that she was allowed to date boys. Later on we will see more in detail some of the contradictory and inconsistent elements in the parents' sexual attitudes. 在高中，受欢迎程度和吸引力的问题开始显现。对她来说，让同学们喜欢她，让自己成为更受欢迎的女孩之一，是极其重要的。任何使她对这种地位产生怀疑的事情，对她来说都是极其苦恼和烦恼的。她越来越意识到自己是一个有吸引力的女性，但面对父母，尤其是母亲相当压抑的性态度，她很难做到这一点。她母亲不允许她穿得更成熟，也不允许她涂口红或穿高跟鞋，直到她16岁左右。直到那时她才被允许和男孩子约会。稍后我们会更详细地看到父母性态度中一些矛盾和不一致的因素。