Anti-Semitism 反犹太主义 A particular subcategory of victimization was tied in with Karen's Jewishness. She recalled the first time she became aware of anti-Semitism, when a little boy she was playing with called her a "dirty Jew." She felt hurt and confused by this and somehow felt she was different and inferior because of it. The fact of her being Jewish was a source of considerable anxiety for Karen. She felt it was like being black—something over which she could exercise no control or no choice—something she could neither manipulate nor control and therefore something about which she could onlyfeel helpless and vulnerable. She could only think of Auschwitz, and remind herself of the gas chamber showers at Dachau. She felt also conflicted and uneasy about the Jewish attitude that suffering makes one superior, since she could feel the same attitude within herself. 受害者的一个特殊的亚类别与卡伦的犹太身份有关。她回忆起自己第一次意识到反犹太主义的时候，和她一起玩的一个小男孩叫她“肮脏的犹太人”。她为此感到受伤和困惑，不知怎的，她觉得自己因此而与众不同，低人一等。她是犹太人这一事实使卡伦感到相当焦虑。她觉得这就像当一个黑人——一个她无法控制或选择的东西——一个她既无法操纵也无法控制的东西，因此她只能感到无助和脆弱。她只能想到奥斯威辛，想起达豪[德国地名]的毒气室淋浴。她也对犹太人认为苦难使人优越的态度感到矛盾和不安，因为她能在自己内心感受到同样的态度。 One day a police siren sounding outside of my office reminded her of the Gestapo, and the fact that when she had been in high school she had played the part of Anne Frank in a production of The Diary of Anne Frank. She commented, 一天，我办公室外响起警笛声，使她想起盖世太保，想起她上高中时在《安妮·弗兰克日记》中扮演的安妮·弗兰克一角。她评论说, I hate sirens, they remind me of the Gestapo and Anne Frank—trucks coming to take those people away. I had a recurrent dream when I was young of being in an attack and hearing a train whistle—somehow I associate that with Germany. I remembered that when I played the part of Anne Frank I broke down crying in the middle of the play. It was a martyrdom—martyr-dummy. It was all so useless—the state as the fatherland—pro patria mori—that is an absolute crock. 我讨厌警报器，它们让我想起盖世太保和安妮·弗兰克，卡车来把那些人带走。当我年轻的时候，我有一个反复出现的梦，梦见在一次袭击中听到火车的汽笛声——不知何故，我把它与德国联系在一起。我记得当我扮演安妮·弗兰克这个角色时，我在剧中哭得半死。这是一个殉道——殉道者-假人[不知道该如何翻译]。这一切都是毫无用处的——国家就像祖国——pro patria mori [拉丁语：为祖国而死]——完全是一派胡言。 I wondered if the martyr-dummy had anything to do with Karen's mother. "I spent my life avoiding what I have become—identified with my mother, persecuted by the fatherland, the United States government." 我想知道这个假人是不是和卡伦的母亲有什么关系。“我用我的一生来避免成为我最终变成的人[偏执者的母亲往往是偏执者，她们不想成为自己母亲那样的人，最终却可悲地发现“长大后我就成了你”]——与我的母亲认同，被祖国、被美国政府迫害。” She remembered when she had visited Dachau with her parents they had found her family name enscribed on the wall of the gas chamber. She recalled how vulnerable she felt, how great a fear she felt of being a victim and a martyr. She went on to imagine how her father must have killed people in the war, wondering whether she identified with being a victim or victimizer. She then recalled scenes from the movie The Godfather and commented that recalling all that violence and mutilation made her want to cry. I commented on her fear of being hurt or mutilated. She replied, "I am afraid of feminine mutilation, but displaced to my head. I feel mutilated if I can't understand."What was striking about these associations was that in any number of situations that recurred throughout the course of the analysis, Karen would revert back to these series of associations that had to do with Dachau and Anne Frank. Her abiding concern seemed to be that the least expression of prejudice or anti-Semitism in particular would bring to mind these horrible scenes and the awful apprehension that something like that would happen to her, even here and now. 她记得当她和父母一起去达豪时，他们发现她的姓刻在毒气室的墙上。她回忆起自己是多么脆弱，多么害怕成为受害者和殉道者。她继续想象父亲在战争中是如何杀人的，不知道自己是受害者还是迫害者。然后，她回忆起电影《教父》中的场景，并说回想起所有的暴力和残害让她想哭。我评论了她对受伤或致残的恐惧。她回答说:“我害怕女性的残害，但却流离失所。我感到残缺不全，如果我不能理解。”这些关联的惊人之处在于，在分析过程中出现的任何情况下，卡伦都会回到达豪和安妮·弗兰克身上。她始终关心的似乎是，哪怕是最轻微的偏见或反犹太主义的表达，也会让她想起这些可怕的场景，让她产生可怕的恐惧，担心这样的事情会发生在她身上，即使是在此时此地。 It was particularly striking, in the light of these inner feelings, that Karen felt a sense of repulsion and rage which she directed against things Jewish. This persisted through almost the whole of her analysis, and was not significantly modified until the very closing stages of the analysis. She reviled the teachings of rabbis, calling it "a crock of shit." She felt a sense of rage at the smug superiority of Jewish people she knew, a superiority that she felt was reprehensible. She scorned their regarding themselves as the "chosen people" and even went so far that she felt enraged at such people wishing that she could exterminate them. She felt contempt for Jewish clannishness, for the stereotypes that were attached to Jews. She referred to such stereotypes as "Jewy." The notion that she might be regarded as a little Jewish princess, or as a "castrating Jewish female," was frightening to her. These were all things, she felt, that made people point fingers at Jews, refer to them as "them." 尤其令人吃惊的是，从这些内心的感觉来看，卡伦感到一种对犹太人的东西的厌恶和愤怒。这种情况几乎贯穿了她的整个分析过程，直到分析的最后阶段才有明显的改变。她斥责拉比[犹太教的牧师叫拉比]的教导，称其为“一坨狗屎”。她对自己所认识的犹太人的优越感感到愤怒，她觉得这种优越感应该受到谴责。她鄙视他们把自己视为“上帝的选民”，甚至对那些希望她能消灭他们[它们？]的人感到愤怒。她鄙视犹太人的排外主义，以及对犹太人的刻板印象。她把这种刻板印象称为“犹太”。一想到她可能被视为犹太小公主，或“被阉割的犹太女性”，她就感到害怕。她觉得，正是这些东西让人们把矛头指向犹太人，称他们为“他们”。 She was particularly enraged by the Jewy attitudes and behaviors she found in her mother's family. She found such behavior and such smug self-satisfaction, such narrowness and clannishness in them to be most disgusting and reprehensible. It was only in the closing months of her analysis that she was able to soften her feelings of contempt and rage in this matter. She felt herself then more willing to accept her own Jewishness and her own Jewish religious belief. She came to recognize that the violent rejection she had previously felt was connected with her own feelings of vulnerability. She even came to the point of wondering if she ever had a child what religious faith she would want to instill in the child, and her answer, surprising even to me, was that she wanted to raise the child as a Jew. 她尤其对她母亲家族中犹太人的态度和行为感到愤怒。她发现他们的这种行为，这种自鸣得意的自我满足，这种狭隘和排外，是最令人厌恶和应受谴责的。只是在她分析的最后几个月里，她才缓和了对这件事的轻蔑和愤怒。那时她觉得自己更愿意接受自己的犹太身份和自己的犹太宗教信仰。她开始意识到，她以前感到的暴力拒绝与她自己的脆弱感有关。她甚至想知道，如果她有了孩子，她会向孩子灌输什么样的宗教信仰。她的答案令我惊讶，她竟然想把孩子养成一个犹太人。 That sentiment surprised me because it told me more than anything else she had indicated that the abiding and deeply pervasive sense of vulnerability that penetrated almost every fiber of her psychological being had been finally reached and significantly modified. 这种情绪让我感到惊讶，因为它告诉我的比她所暗示的任何事情都要多，那就是贯穿她心理存在的几乎每一根纤维的持久而深入的脆弱感，最终得到了触及，并得到了显著的改变。