Defensiveness and Coping 防御和应对 One of the early themes to emerge in the analysis and one which expressed and reflected Karen's rather rigid defensiveness had to do with her need to see herself as effectively coping. Her defense took the form of being hard on herself and demanding. She commented, "No one could be harder. That assumes that people will be hard on me and I expect them to be. I substitute somebody else's explanations for my own, and I expect a slap across the knuckles."The coping was intimately connected with her tendency to blame herself when things went wrong and to feel guilty. It was easier for her to accept the blame, because then she felt she could do something about it. "If life is shitty, then I can't handle it." 分析中出现的早期主题之一，也就是表达和反映了卡伦相当顽固的防御的主题之一，与她认为自己需要有效地应对有关[应对是个心理学术语：an adaptation to environmental stress that is based on conscious or unconscious choice and that enhances control over behavior or gives psychological comfort.]。她的防御采取了对自己严厉和苛刻的形式。她说:“没有人能比这更困难了。这是假设人们会对我很苛刻，我也希望他们会这样。我用别人的解释代替我自己的解释，我期待着挨一巴掌。” 这种应对方式与她在事情出错时责备自己并感到内疚的倾向密切相关。对她来说，接受指责要容易得多，因为她觉得自己能做点什么。“如果生活很糟糕，那么我无法承受。” But assuming her own fault in things allowed her to mobilize her coping resources. She prepared herself for the worst and then would brace herself for the anticipated blow. She commented, "I only hurt myself. I can't block off my emotional responses. I turn the other cheek, but I can't roll with the punch. I seem to have foresight but no flexibility, so that I just take the blows in the worst possible way." I commented at this point that she seemed like a good soldier, and she replied, "I never enlisted. I was drafted. But a good soldier should know when to duck, but only on command." There seemed little doubt that this was closely related to her underlying fears of vulnerability. 但是，假定她自己在某些事情上有过失，她就可以调动自己的应对资源。她做好最坏的打算，然后准备好迎接预料中的打击。她说:“我只是伤了自己。我无法阻止我的情感反应。我转过另一张脸，但我打不动。我似乎很有远见，但缺乏灵活性，所以我只能以最糟糕的方式承受打击。我当时评论说，她看起来是个好士兵，她回答说，“我从来没有参军。我被征召了。但一个好士兵应该知道什么时候闪开，但只是听从命令。” 毫无疑问，这与她内心深处对脆弱的恐惧密切相关。 The motif of coping played itself out even in the analytic situation and provided a major theme of resistance. She felt threatened by my interventions and wanted to "do it for myself." The paranoid quality of her fear was evident. She said, 应对主题甚至在分析情境中也发挥了作用，成为反抗的主要主题。她对我的干预感到威胁，想“为自己做这件事”。她那种偏执的恐惧是显而易见的。她说, I feel so vulnerable, as if I am going to get hurt. If I'm strong I won't get hurt. But what's so good about being strong? People always back away from being needed, but being weak turns me off. I hate it when people get that puppydog look. I would shrink myself before you did. I would respond in advance, like Madame DeFarge watching my own head roll. I'd do it to myself before it was done to me. 我觉得很脆弱，好像我要受伤了。如果我强壮，我就不会受伤。但是坚强有什么好处呢?人们总是逃避被需要，但是软弱使我厌烦。当人们在我面向像条宠物狗时，我恨强壮。我会在你之前收缩自己。我会提前回答，就像德伐日太太[《双城记》中的人物]看着我在地上滚一样。我宁愿自己动手，也不愿别人动手。 I wondered at this point whether she felt my comments were hurtful to her. "You' re Madame DeFarge," she said. "You' re the observer, calloused, enjoying the spectacle for your entertainment, getting your kicks out of watching heads roll." 我想知道她是否觉得我的话伤害了她。“你是德伐日太太，” 她说。“你是一个旁观者，冷酷无情，享受着这一奇观作为你的娱乐，从观看人头翻滚中得到乐趣。” The coping was obviously a defense against her underlying depression. She felt that coping was less painful for her and it was something that she could count on. It was easier for her than allowing other people to see her suffering. In a sense she resented the necessity to cope, but the alternative was dependence, something that she dreaded and feared. She observed that she didn't want to have anybody who would desert her. After all she had been deserted by her father again and again. One of the hardest things for her to take was the idea of being left. The need to cope was indeed a defense against the underlying fear of dependency and the associated fear of being left and abandoned. 这种应对显然是对她潜在抑郁症的一种防御。她觉得应对对她来说没有那么痛苦，这是她可以指望的。对她来说，这比让别人看到她的痛苦要容易得多。从某种意义上说，她痛恨应付这种局面的必要性，但另一种选择是依赖，这是她惧怕的。她说她不想有任何人抛弃她。毕竟她被父亲一次又一次地遗弃了。对她来说，最难接受的事情之一就是离开。应对的需要实际上是对依赖的潜在恐惧以及对被抛弃的相关恐惧的一种防御。 The coping part of herself was the strong, intellectual, and masculine part of herself which protected her from the weak, vulnerable, and feminine part of her. She felt herself to be precarious and fragile; if she leaned a little she would fall, so that even leaning a little was fraught with danger. Countless situations were turned into ones that threatened her and to which she needed to respond by coping. Referring to a friend who was also in analysis, she said, "Marge gets hopeless, but I get copeless." And again, "If I come on even slightly less than my strongest self, I feel vulnerable." 她的应对部分是坚强的、知性的、男性化的，这保护了她不受软弱、脆弱和女性化部分的影响。她觉得自己很不稳定，很脆弱;如果她再向前倾一点，她就会摔倒，所以即使再倾一点，也充满了危险。无数的情况变成了威胁她的情况，她需要应对。提到一位也在做心理分析的朋友时，她说，“玛吉变得绝望了，但我却变得无能为力。” 再一次，“如果我表现得比最坚强的自己稍弱一点，我就会感到脆弱。”