Father 父亲 There can be little question that Karen's Oedipal involvement with her father was quite intense. She quite frankly adored her father, and felt that he was the only one in the family who cared about her, loved her, and took pride in her and her accomplishments. After his death she spoke repeatedly and in terms of tender endearment about his mannerisms and peculiarities—how he would want her to talk to him and just enjoyed listening to her, how his face would break into a smile when she walked into the room, how he would fall asleep watching the television, etc. She spoke of how handsome he was, especially when he wore his uniform. In a special way he was the man in her life. 毫无疑问，卡伦与父亲的俄狄浦斯情结非常强烈。她很坦率地崇拜她的父亲，觉得他是家里唯一关心她、爱她、为她和她的成就感到骄傲的人。在他去世后，她反复并且是柔和亲昵地讲述了他的举止和怪癖——他多么想让她和他说话，多么喜欢听她说话，他多么想在她走进房间时突然露出笑容，他多么想在看电视时睡着，等等。她说他是多么英俊，尤其是当他穿着制服的时候。以一种特殊的方式，他是她生命中的男人。 One of the hardest things for her to bear was her disappointment and frustration at his continual leavings. She commented at one point that she seemed to love most deeply what was beyond touch for her, that she found most appealing what was least possible. But when he would come home again, his coming was filled with anticipation. When he came it was like the coming of the Messiah, he was so handsome and so wonderful in her eyes. If he was gruff she loved him for his gruffness, and was able to relate this to her feeling that she could function best with a bastard for a director or an analyst. She observed at one point she wanted "a man of few words, all ill-chosen," and added that I was a man of few words, just like her father. But somehow that made what her father said, as well as what I said, seem all the more important. 对她来说，最难以忍受的事情之一就是对他不断离开感到失望和沮丧。她曾说过，她似乎最热爱她无法触及的东西，她觉得最吸引人的是最不可能的东西。但当他再次回家时，他的到来充满了期待。当他来的时候，就像弥赛亚[犹太教救世主]的到来，在她的眼里，他是那么英俊，那么奇妙。如果他粗暴无礼，她就会因为他的粗暴无礼而喜欢他，并且能够把这一点与她的感觉联系起来，她觉得她能最好地与一个混蛋系主任或分析师共事。有一次，她说她想要一个“寡言少语，全是错误选择的男人”，还说我是个寡言少语的人，就像她父亲一样。但不知何故，这使得她父亲所说的话，以及我所说的话，显得更加重要。 The Oedipal motifs became quite explicit. She wanted to have her father without her mother, without any other women around. She wanted to have him and possess him totally. She felt if Daddy loved her she didn't need any other man. Her disappointment when he would leave her was intense. She felt disappointed and frustrated and felt as though she was no longer important to him. 俄狄浦斯的主题变得相当明确。她想要没有母亲的父亲，没有任何其他女人在身边。她想拥有他，完全占有他。她觉得如果爸爸爱她，她就不需要其他男人了。他要离开她时，她非常失望。她感到失望和沮丧，觉得自己对他不再重要了。 She gradually was able to see that her relationship with her father formed a sort of paradigm for her relationships with other men. The repetition-compulsion took the particular form of bringing it about that with each new man she was disappointed and left. Her social life was a recurring rhythm of leaving and rejoining, and each new man was for her like a rejoining with her father—each new meeting was characterized by a need for instant intimacy,a need to get to know him and to get close quickly. She commented that army brats always do that because the relationship is over so soon; one had to get as much as one could out of it because it was only going to last for a short time. The paradigm for this of course was her father, and she commented, "But my father was so dominant. No man whistles for me but my father. I'm doomed to look for Daddy and not to find him. I always seem to be looking for a man who will be a brute, or who will be distant and unavailable." 她逐渐发现，她与父亲的关系为她与其他男人的关系树立了一种典范。这种强迫性重复以一种特殊的形式出现，导致她对每一个新男人都感到失望而离开。她的社交生活是一种反复出现的离开和重新加入的节奏，对她来说，每一个新男人就像她和父亲的重新相聚——每一次新的见面都有一个特点，就是需要立即亲密，需要了解他，并迅速接近他。她评论说，军队孩子总是那样做，因为关系结束得太快了;人们必须尽可能多地从中得到好处，因为这只会持续很短的时间。她的父亲就是一个典型的例子，她说:“但是我的父亲太强势了。除了我父亲，没有人为我吹口哨。我注定要去找爸爸，而不是去找他。我似乎总是在寻找一个男人，他要么是一个野蛮的人，要么是一个疏远不可得的人。” There was a sense of comradeship and sharing between Karen and her father that was a source of great pride and consolation to her. She and her father formed a comradeship of sympathy and understanding that separated them from the rest of the world and stood them over against her mother and her mother's family, against the United States government, in fact against the world. They were both aloof and cautious. They both rebelled against the family, they both had different careers from the rest of the family, and different values. 卡伦和她父亲之间有一种友情和共同的感觉，这使她感到非常骄傲和安慰。她和她的父亲形成了一种同情和理解的同志关系，使他们与世界其他地方隔离开来，使他们与她的母亲和母亲的家庭对立，与美国政府对立，实际上是与世界对立。他们既冷淡又谨慎。他们都背叛了家庭，他们的职业和家庭的其他成员不同，他们的价值观也不同。 She and her father would never give in or would never apologize, for that only meant you were wrong and weak. Even in physical attributes she saw herself as like her father in striking ways. She felt her hands were big like his, and that her hands and feet tended to be cold like his, since they both had "lousy circulation." There was an explicit phallic reference with respect to the hands, since at another point she remarked that a man's hands and the size of his penis were correlated, and that she liked men with big hands. She then went on to comment on the size of her own hands, and how her boyfriends often commented on how big they were. She also saw herself as walking like her father, with military bearing as if on parade. They both stood straight like ramrods, and she referred to herself as "walking like a soldier," or again as being a "good little soldier." Her father was strong, silent, and aloof. Karen prided herself on being tall, almost as tall as her father. She also liked tall men who stood straight and rigid. The phallic reference in all of this was quite clear. Her father was stony-faced, and never showed any emotion or weakness. It was just in these terms that Karen liked to think of herself, the opposite of the weak, emotional, and hysterical female. 她和她的父亲永远不会屈服，永远不会道歉，因为那只意味着你错了，软弱。即使在身体素质上，她也认为自己与父亲惊人地相似。她觉得自己的手和他的一样大，她的手和脚也和他的一样冷，因为他们都有“糟糕的血液循环”。有一个关于手的明确的阴茎参考，因为在另一个时候，她说到一个男人的手和他阴茎的大小是相关的，她喜欢有大手的男人。然后，她继续评论自己的手的大小，以及她的男朋友经常评论自己的手有多大。她还认为自己走路像她父亲，军人的举止就像在游行。他们俩都笔直地站着，就像一根横木，她称自己“走路像个士兵”，或者又一次称自己是一个“好的小士兵”。她的父亲坚强、沉默、冷漠。卡伦为自己个子高而自豪，几乎和她父亲一样高。她也喜欢站得笔直、僵硬的高个子男人。所有这些都很清楚地提到了阴茎。她父亲面无表情，从不流露出任何感情或软弱。卡伦正是喜欢把自己想成这种样子，软弱、情绪化、歇斯底里的女人的对立面。 Neither of them would ask for anything no matter how badly they wanted or needed it—it was a matter of pride. Like her father she saw herself as regimented, strict, quiet, and shut off and aloof within the family. She and her father were separate and apart, but together—he was the only one who was with her and who understood her and his loss was a great pain for her. With regard to the family she often said, "They can have my mother, but they'll never get me or my father." Her father was neat, efficient, organized, and in control of things. He was scrupulously honest, he did things the hard way, his own way, independently, and he would never ask anyone for help or let anyone help him. He would never take anything from anyone, would never depend on anyone, since to do so was to be weakened and emasculated. "Do it yourself, or don't do it!" was his basic philosophy. 无论他们多么迫切地想要或需要什么，他们都不会要求——这是一件值得骄傲的事。像她的父亲一样，她认为自己在家庭中是严肃的、严格的、安静的、与世隔绝的、孤僻的。她和她的父亲分开了，但却在一起——他是唯一和她在一起的人，他理解她，他的离去对她来说是一个巨大的痛苦。关于家庭，她经常说，“他们可以有我的母亲，但他们永远不会得到我或我的父亲。”她的父亲整洁、高效、有条理，并能控制一切。他一丝不苟地诚实，他用努力、用他自己的方式、独立地做事，他从不向任何人寻求帮助或让任何人帮助他。他不会从任何人那里得到任何东西，也不会依赖任何人，因为这样做会被被削弱、变得无力。“要么自己做，要么不要做!”是他的基本哲学。 One of the important areas they shared together was their interest in cars—an interest which was mutually satisfying to both Karen and her father and which effectively excluded her mother. Mother was the dumb-dumb woman who was completely ignorant and innocent of anything about automobiles. The knowledge of and interest in cars was a masculine thing that Karen shared with her father. It was only grudgingly that her father admitted she was an excellent driver. She felt it was like pulling teeth to get him to acknowledge her ability. She recalled an episode in which he was towing a U-haul and was very anxious and uncertain about it. Karen took over the wheel and he only reluctantly admitted she handled the car better than he. A part of Karen felt that her father had always wanted a son and that he had been disappointed when she turned out to be a girl. Sharing such common masculine interests with him seemed to make up for that, so she felt she became in a way the son he had always wanted. It was a source of great pride to her that at one point he could say to her that if she were only a boy she would have been at West Point. She sometimes described her relationship with her father in terms of "military camaraderie." 他们共同拥有的一个重要领域是对汽车的兴趣——卡伦和她的父亲都对这种兴趣感到满意，但实际上却把她的母亲排除在外。母亲是个笨蛋，对汽车一无所知。对汽车的了解和兴趣是卡伦和她父亲共有的男性特征。她父亲只是勉强承认她是个优秀的司机。她觉得让他承认她的能力就像拔牙一样困难。她回忆起有一次他拖着一辆U-haul拖车[U-haul是美国一家租车公司]，对此非常焦虑和不确定。卡伦接过方向盘，而他只是勉强承认她的驾驶技术比他好。从某种程度上说，卡伦觉得她父亲一直想要个儿子，而当她被证明是个女孩时，他感到很失望。和他共同的男性兴趣似乎弥补了这一点，所以她觉得自己在某种程度上成了他一直想要的儿子。有一次他对她说，如果她是个男孩，她就会去西点军校，这使她感到非常自豪。她有时用“军人情谊”来描述她和父亲的关系。 Identification with the Aggressor. If there was a side of Karen that adored and was attracted to her father, there was another side that was terrified and frightened of him. However, the negative side of her ambivalence was considerably less available to her. It was only after extensive analytic work that she was able to acknowledge and recognize her considerable ambivalence toward him. She was easily able to recognize that in fact he scared her, and that she often dreaded his anger, fearing that he would hurt or kill her. Even so she often did things to provoke his anger. When he was around, she felt terrified of him and would often hide from him, avoiding him for fear of the punishment he would deal out to her. Karen unquestionably saw herself as the victim of her father's potential destructiveness and violence. She commented any number of times on how they would yell at each other and fight, and if it hadn't been for her mother's presence as a peacemaker they would literally have torn each other apart. Their relationship was one of "submerged violence" and Karen described herself and her father—with some admixture of pride—as both having "Hungarian tempers." They were both possessed of a "sulking fury," the power to hurt and destroy, even to kill. 攻击者认同。如果说卡伦有一面崇拜父亲，被父亲吸引，那么另一面也害怕父亲。然而，她的矛盾心理的消极方面对她来说却少得多。只有在大量的分析工作之后，她才能够承认并认识到她对他的矛盾心理。她很容易就意识到，事实上他吓坏了她，她常常害怕他的愤怒，害怕他会伤害或杀死她。即便如此，她还是经常做一些事情来惹他生气。当他在身边的时候，她害怕他，常常躲着他，因为害怕他会对她进行惩罚而避开他。毫无疑问，卡伦认为自己是父亲潜在的破坏性和暴力的受害者。她评论了很多次他们是如何互相吼叫和打架的，如果没有她母亲作为和平缔造者的存在，他们真的会把对方撕成碎片。他们的关系是一种“潜在的暴力”，卡伦形容自己和父亲——带着几分自豪——都有“匈牙利人的脾气”。他们都有一种“生闷气的愤怒”，一种伤害和毁灭，甚至杀戮的力量。 The overriding influence of Karen's identification with her aggressiveand destructive father was meshed with Karen's adoring Oedipal wish to submit to her father's brutality. As she saw it, every woman adores a fascist, and her relationships with men were nothing but a seeking of an "Aryantype bastard from the past." Unquestionably Karen's father was the fascist and the bastard with whom she constantly sought to create a relationship. It was a relationship in which she was inevitably forced to submit and become the suffering victim. He was the brutal fascist, who would give her nothing but a boot in the face; he was her "man in black, with a Mein Kampf look, with a love of the rack and the screw." 卡伦对她那好斗、破坏性的父亲的认同的最大影响，与她希望屈从于她父亲残暴的崇拜性的俄狄浦斯情节交织在一起。在她看来，每个女人都崇拜法西斯主义者，而她与男人的关系只不过是在寻找一个“来自过去的雅利安式混蛋”。毫无疑问，卡伦的父亲是法西斯分子，也是她一直想与之建立关系的混蛋。在这段关系中，她不可避免地被迫屈服，成为受害者。他是个残酷的法西斯主义者，只会用一脚踢她的脸;他是她的“黑衣男人，带着我奋斗的样子，带着对架子和螺丝的热爱。” Ambivalence to Father. It was only little by little and over a long period of the analysis that Karen's anger at her father revealed itself. She felt that time and again he had betrayed her, and she focused this feeling particularly in relationship to money questions; as for example, his having taken a loan on his insurance to pay for her education. It was clear, however, that the motif of betrayal extended further than that and included his constant leaving. 对父亲的矛盾态度。经过长时间的分析，卡伦对父亲的愤怒才逐渐显露出来。她觉得他一次又一次地背叛了她，她把这种感觉特别集中在金钱问题上;例如，他已经用他的保险贷款来支付她的教育费用。然而，很明显，背叛的主题不仅限于此，还包括他不断的离开。 She frequently had dreams about her father's dying, and when his death finally became a reality, her guilt feelings were powerful, even overwhelming. But she refused to acknowledge that the feeling was one of guilt; rather she resentfully saw herself as cheated and betrayed. She commented, "If a crime was committed, I was the victim!" She bitterly resented what she determined to be her father's arbitrary decisions. She also boiled with rage in the face of his apparently inconsistent decisions. She recalled how when she was learning to drive a car he had forbidden her to take the car out, but then allowed her cousin Ann to drive the car. Karen was furious. She commented, "No matter how people try they fuck up. My father let Ann drive the car when he wouldn't let me. I would have told him to fuck himself, but the response would have been murderous. I realized how stupid it all was later, but it just infuriated me. Father was the oppressor, the fascist." 她经常梦见父亲的死，当他的死最终成为现实时，她的内疚感非常强烈，甚至势不可当。但是她拒绝承认这种感觉是有罪的;相反，她怨恨地认为自己被欺骗和背叛了。她说:“如果有人犯罪，我就是受害者!”她对父亲的武断决定深恶痛绝。面对他显然前后矛盾的决定，她也勃然大怒。她回忆起她在学开车时，他曾禁止她把车开出去，但后来却允许她的表姐安开车。卡伦很愤怒。她评论道:“不管人们怎么努力，他们都搞砸了。我父亲不让我开车，却让安开车。我本想让他操他自己，但他的反应会是致命的。后来我才意识到这一切是多么愚蠢，但这只是激怒了我。父亲是压迫者，法西斯主义者。” Perhaps the most central focus for Karen's feelings of anger and betrayal was her father's constant leaving. She felt that her life was lived in a constant state of waiting for something to happen, waiting for sublime moments, the moments when her father would come back. Life was nothing but a series of tours of duty. For all the years of moving she felt she was missing something she wanted but somehow wasn't getting. Presumably her father's absence left an emptiness that Karen could not fill. Somehow she felt responsible for his leaving; she somehow assumed he didn't want to be with her. She remarked plaintively at one point that if you really wanted to be with someone you would find a way to do it. 也许卡伦愤怒和背叛感觉的最核心原因是她父亲的不断离开。她觉得她的生活一直处于一种等待事情发生的状态，等待着伟大的时刻，等待着父亲回来的时刻。人生不过是一系列的责任之旅。搬家这么多年来，她一直觉得自己缺少了她想要的东西，但不知何故却没有得到。大概她父亲的离开留下了卡伦无法填补的空白。不知怎的，她觉得他的离开是她的责任;不知何故，她以为他不想和她在一起。有一次她悲伤地说，如果你真的想和某人在一起，你会想办法做到的。 She struggled vigorously against any Oedipal interpretation, as we shall see, but stoutly maintained she could not have Oedipal feelings since her father had never been there; and that is exactly what she expected from men, that they would not be there. She complained bitterly about the inconsiderateness, the insensitivity, the stupidity of men. Everyone else's life should revolve around theirs, and a poor helpless woman had to be subject to whatever they wanted. When I asked her whether her feelings had any relationship to my going away on vacation, she became extremely defensive. In her typical counterpoint style, Karen insisted that her feelings of anger at my going on vacation had nothing to do with her father, but then added, "If you allow yourself to be used, there is always somebody there to use you; they find each other." She resisted any sense of dependence on me. "I just don't get dependent on somebody who is not going to be around. That's a 'tic nerveuse,' it reminds me of my father. I guess I have a desire to be dependent, but I have no intention of letting myself. There is just no reliability in the universe. The good things go away for the stupidest reasons. There are so many people who just don't want to be depended on, so you just can't count on their being there. 她极力反对任何俄狄浦斯式的解读，我们将会看到，但她坚决主张她不可能有俄狄浦斯式的情感，因为她的父亲从未去过那里;这正是她对男人的期望，他们不会在那里。她痛苦地抱怨男人的不体贴、不敏感和愚蠢。每个人的生活都应该以自己的生活为中心，一个可怜无助的女人必须服从于他们想要的一切。当我问她，她的感觉是否与我外出度假有任何关系时，她变得非常防御。卡伦用她典型的对位语气坚持说，她对我去度假的愤怒与她父亲无关，但接着又说，“如果你允许自己被利用，总会有人利用你;他们找到了彼此。”她拒绝任何对我的依赖。“我只是不会依赖一个不在身边的人。这只是一个‘神经抽动’，这让我想起了我的父亲。我想我有一种想要独立的欲望，但我没有让自己独立的意图。宇宙中没有可靠的东西。美好的事物因最愚蠢的原因而消失。有很多人就是不想被依赖，所以你不能指望他们在那里。[偏执者觉得别人都靠不住] Father's Death. Karen's mixed and highly conflicted feelings about her father came to a head as a result of his death. He died suddenly of a heart attack. The year or so prior to his death had seen a number of episodes that stirred Karen's guilt and made it all the more necessary for her to repress the negative side of her ambivalence toward her father. He had been retired from the Army and had suffered a mild stroke. Soon after that, he had been in an automobile accident, and subsequently had lost his job. His own sense of insecurity and inadequacy and, apparently, depression affected Karen severely. 父亲的去世。卡伦对她父亲的复杂和高度矛盾的感情在他的死后达到了顶点。他突然死于心脏病发作。在他去世前一年左右的时间里，她经历了许多事情，这些事情激起了卡伦的负罪感，让她更有必要压抑自己对父亲矛盾心理的负面影响。他已经退役，患了轻微的中风。不久之后，他遭遇了一场车祸，随后失去了工作。他自己的不安全感和不足感，以及明显的抑郁严重地影响了卡伦。 When he died it became more difficult for her to acknowledge and face the negative aspects of her relationship with her father. But his loss came as the ultimate and definitive leaving. And all the feelings that were stirred in the previous multiple leavings that had pained and anguished her so much were once again revived. She felt betrayed and cheated and victimized. She tended to idealize her father and her relationship with him, and took a great deal of pride in the aspects of her character—no matter how painful to her—that seemed similar to his. It was only in the mourning of his definitive loss that she was able to tolerate some of the angry and murderous impulses that had for so long been repressed. In broader scope, however, accepting her father's death meant for Karen accepting her lot in a limited and cold, uncaring world, in which there were many frustrations and limitations and disappointments. UItimately it meant surrendering her infantile narcissism. 当他去世后，她越来越难以承认和面对她与父亲关系的负面影响。但他的离去是他最终和决定性的离开。在前几次的多次离别中所激起的、曾使她如此痛苦的种种感情又一次复活了。她感到被人背叛、欺骗和受害。她倾向于理想化她的父亲和她与他的关系，并以她的性格的各个方面为傲——不管她觉得有多痛苦——这些似乎与他的相似。只有在为他的彻底去世而哀悼的时候，她才能够容忍长久以来被压抑的一些愤怒和杀人的冲动。然而，从更广泛的角度来看，接受父亲的去世意味着卡伦要在一个有限、冷漠的世界里接受自己的命运，在这个世界里有很多挫折、局限和失望。最终，这意味着要放弃她幼稚的自恋。 The Masochistic Motif. There was an interesting motif that related closely to the material pertaining to Karen's relationship with her father and which played itself out in the course of the analysis. Frequently in the early parts of the analysis she referred to herself as being "slapped in the face," or as "turning the other cheek," "rolling with the punch," saying she always expected to get slapped down, and that she took it in the worst way possible. On several occasions in referring to free association, she commented that opening doors made her expect to get a slap in the face. The motif of getting slapped in the face seemed to lie very close in significance to the idea of being "shat on." It seemed that whatever she did she could only expect to get slapped in the face for it. She feared it, expected it, but yet always seemed to stick her chin out. 受虐狂的主题。有一个有趣的主题与卡伦和她父亲的关系密切相关，并且在分析过程中发挥了自己的作用。在分析的早期，她经常称自己为“被打了一耳光”，或者“转过另一边的脸”，“被打得滚开”，她说她总是希望被打下去，而且她是用最糟糕的方式接受的。在提到自由结社的几个场合，她评论说，开门让她觉得自己会被扇耳光。被扇耳光的主题似乎与“被拉屎”这个概念有着非常密切的意义。看来，无论她做什么，她都只会因此挨一巴掌。她害怕它，期待它，但似乎总是伸出她的下巴。 She related these feelings to an episode that happened when her father got his orders for Korea. Karen was only 14, but she became very upset when her mother seemed to accept the news so calmly. Karen began screaming at her mother, and her father became angry and started to chase her. Karen was scared to death and ran into her room, slammed the door behind her and locked it. Her father demanded that she open the door. She finally did so, and he slapped her in the face. She later commented that she felt there was no way out; she was trapped, helpless. If she stayed in the room, he would have killed her; and if she opened the door, he would have killed her. She then recalled another episode when he was driving with her some years later. The car behind them was honking its horn at her, and she exclaimed in response to the horn. "Oh shut up!" Without any warning and to her mind without any explanation, her father slapped her, apparently thinking she had addressed that comment to him. Again, she felt enraged, betrayed, victimized. On another occasion, when one of her boyfriends wanted to stay over at the house, her father would not permit it and she told him he had a "shitty" sense of hospitality. On that occasion also he slapped her. The masochistic quality of these memories was clear in the following comments: 她把这些感受与她父亲接到去韩国的命令时发生的一件事联系起来。卡伦只有14岁，但当她的母亲似乎如此平静地接受这个消息时，她变得非常沮丧。卡伦开始对她妈妈尖叫，她爸爸生气了，开始追她。卡伦吓得要死，跑进她的房间，砰的一声关上门，锁上了门。她父亲要求她开门。她终于照做了，他打了她一耳光。她后来说，她觉得没有出路;她被困住了，无助。如果她留在房间里，他会杀了她;如果她打开门，他会杀了她。她回忆起几年后他和她一起开车时发生的另一件事。他们后面的汽车向她按喇叭，她听到喇叭后大叫起来。“哦,闭嘴!”没有任何警告，也没有任何解释，她的父亲打了她一巴掌，显然以为她是对他说了这番话。她又一次感到愤怒、背叛和受害。还有一次，当她的一个男朋友想在家里过夜时，她的父亲不允许，她告诉他，他的待客态度“很屎”。就在那时候，他也打了她一巴掌。这些记忆的受虐性质在以下评论中很明显: I was always afraid of punishment. My father would get furious but he never hit me much. I used to think of him as coming after me with his fists. He had beautiful hands—they were strong and masculine; none of his brothers have hands like that. I dislike men with the wrong kinds of hands. My father's hands were so attractive; I was slapped by them. That's so sick, masochistic! My feelings about my father comprise the most intense hatred and love. It was the same with some of my friends, it was an agony and an ecstasy, and I couldn't have one without the other. 我总是害怕受到惩罚。我父亲会很生气，但他从来不打我。我过去认为他会用拳头打我。他有一双美丽的手——强壮而有男子气概;他的兄弟们都没有那样的手。我不喜欢手型不对的男人。我父亲的手很吸引人，我被他们打了一巴掌。太变态了，受虐狂!我对父亲的感情包含着最强烈的仇恨和爱。我的一些朋友也是如此，这是一种痛苦和狂喜，我不能拥有一个而没有另一个。 We can also recall, in connection with these associations, Karen's linking of hands with the male phallus. 我们还能回忆起，与这些联系有关的，卡伦在手与男性阴茎之间建立的联系。