Struggle with Authority Figures 与权威人物的斗争 It gradually became clear to her that part of what was at issue was her rebellion against her parents. She recalled that the drinking and smokingand sexual experimentation were a rebellion against her mother's injunctives, particularly the prohibitions about sex. When she got to college, she at last felt she was beyond her parents' control, but she felt that what was most irritating to her and what she most wanted to rebel against was the necessity for having to hide her activities or lying to her parents. She desperately wanted them to recognize her for what she was as an individual, and not as some figment of their imagination. She wanted her mother particularly to find out what she was doing, to hurt her, and to shock mother's sensibilities. On one occasion she left contraceptive devices in a place where it was quite likely that mother would discover them. On another occasion she called mother up from a boyfriend's apartment telling her that she was not coming home. On each of these occasions mother was properly shocked and upset and the inevitable battle of recriminations was set off. But it was clear that Karen not only set up these battles, but in a way relished them. Leaving things for mother to find was, she said, "A slap in the face." She wanted people to face up to it, to understand her, and most of all to accept her for her real self. 她渐渐明白，问题的一部分在于她对父母的反叛。她回忆说，酗酒、吸烟和性尝试是对她母亲的禁令的反抗，尤其是对性的禁令当她上了大学，她终于觉得自己已经超出了父母的控制，但她觉得最让她生气的，也是她最想反抗的，是必须要隐瞒自己的行为或对父母撒谎。她急切地想让他们认识到她是一个什么样的人，而不是他们想象中的某个虚构人物。她特别想让母亲知道她在做什么，想伤害她，想让母亲的感情受到震动。有一次，她把避孕用具放在一个很可能被母亲发现的地方。还有一次，她从男朋友的公寓给妈妈打电话，说她不回家了。每一次，母亲都感到震惊和不安，不可避免地要挑起一场相互指责的战争。但很明显，卡伦不仅挑起了这些战争，而且在某种程度上享受着这些战争。她说，把东西留给母亲去找，“简直是打了她一记耳光。” 她希望人们能正视这个问题，理解她，最重要的是接受她真实的自我。 It was not difficult for her to link her struggle with authority figures with the figure of her father as well. In a very early hour she began talking about hating authority figures and their restrictions, and then almost in the same breath began talking about how attractive a man in uniform was to her. She immediately referred this to her father. Later she was able to express her concerns about people who make rules that impose something on others. Her fear of the chairman was based on the fact that he could enforce the rules in the department. He had the force of law behind him. Her life, she commented, was filled with "Thou shalt nots" which were imposed on her without any say on her part. With her father she never knew what the rules were and was only able to discover them when she had transgressed them. She felt that her father's rule-making and enforcing were so arbitrary, yet could relate this arbitrariness and authoritarian attitude on his part to his own feelings of insecurity. Being arbitrary and autocratic were his ways of maintaining control. She described anyone who made rules or exercised authority as a "fascist." 对她来说，把她与权威人物的斗争和她父亲的形象联系起来并不困难。没多一会，她就开始谈论讨厌权威人士和他们的限制，然后几乎是同时开始谈论一个穿制服的男人对她是多么有吸引力。她立刻把这跟她父亲联系到了一起。后来，她能够表达她对那些制定强加于人的规则的人的担忧。她之所以害怕主席，是因为他能在部门里执行规章制度。他拥有法律的力量。她说，她的生活充满了“你不应该”，这是强加给她的，她没有任何发言权。在她父亲那里，她从来不知道这些规则是什么，只有当她违反了这些规则时，她才能发现它们。她觉得她父亲的规则制定和执行是如此的武断，但却能把他的这种武断和专制态度与他自己的不安全感联系起来。独断专横是他保持控制的方式。她称任何制定规则或行使权力的人都是“法西斯分子”。