The Money Problem 金钱问题 An area in which these feelings of guilt and obligation were easily mobilized had to do with money. In the very first hour, she referred to her father's deteriorating health, and then wept that she had taken a thousand dollars from him, that she had felt guilty and reprehensible for this, and that if she ever owed anyone anything she would remember it for years. She could not ask her parents for money, because it seemed as though that was hurting them, putting a burden on them for which she then felt responsible. She saw herself as taking her parents' money so that her parents had to give up things and deprive themselves for her sake. Her mother had to work and go without the niceties or comforts of life. She could never take anything from her parents without her mother impressing on her how much she was depriving them, part of the mother's martyr act. 这些罪恶感和责任感很容易被调动的领域与金钱有关。在第一个小时里，她提到父亲日益恶化的健康状况，然后哭着说，她从父亲那里拿走了一千美元，她为此感到内疚和应受谴责，如果她欠任何人任何东西，她会多年记得。她不能向父母要钱，因为这似乎伤害了他们，给他们增加了负担，她感到自己对此有责任。她认为自己是在拿父母的钱，所以她的父母不得不放弃一些东西，为了她而剥夺自己。她的母亲不得不工作，没有生活的细节和舒适。她从父母那里得到的任何东西，母亲都会让她铭记，她剥夺了他们多少东西，这是母亲殉道行为的一部分。 Karen inevitably felt guilty and burdened by anything she thereby received from her parents. Her father was also terribly insecure about money. He had supported Karen at college and had taken out a loan to do so. She always felt that her education had been a tremendous burden on her parents. It was difficult for her to take anything without a feeling of guilt, without a feeling she was taking it away from her parents and depriving them, that what was given her was not a gift but a sacrifice. Particularly painful for her was the money that came from her father's insurance estate after his death. She saw it as blood money; she felt as though to take and use that money was in a way to accept it in place of her father and as a substitute for him, as though somehow to take the money was to be responsible for his death. 卡伦从父母那里得到的任何东西都不可避免地让她感到内疚和负担。她父亲对钱也非常没有安全感。卡伦上大学时他曾经资助过卡伦，并为此借了一笔钱。她总是觉得她的教育对她的父母是一个巨大的负担。她很难不感到内疚地拿走任何东西，她很难不感到自己从父母那里夺走了什么，剥夺了他们的权利，她很难不感到自己得到的不是礼物，而是一种牺牲。尤其令她痛苦的是，父亲去世后，她从他的保险财产中得到的钱。她把它看作是血汗钱;她觉得拿了那笔钱，用了那笔钱，就是让钱占据了父亲的位置，作为父亲替代物，好像拿了那笔钱，就要为他的死负责似的。 A particularly delicate area of the analysis was the whole question of the fee. I had agreed with her in the initial negotiations to conduct the analysis at a significantly reduced fee, with the understanding that when her financial situation improved we would raise the fee—even though it remained at a reduced rate throughout the course of the analysis. Such an arrangement inevitably stirred all of the guilt-ladened concerns that focused on the matter of money. Her receiving the analysis at a fee that made it possible for her to support it raised the question of whether I was making a sacrifice for her benefit, for which she would have to feel guilty and obligated to me. She was obviously threatened by and conflicted about anything in the course of analysis that placed her in my debt or stirred any feelings of gratitude in her. Such sentiments only served to stir her feelings of vulnerability and susceptibility, as if gratitude or a sense of obligation equivalently placed her within someone else's power. The sexual analogy was close at hand; if a man took her out for an evening or took her to dinner, she felt inevitably that she would have to pay the price by surrendering her body to him. Her fears of being taken advantage of and of vulnerable susceptibility were thus mobilized around the issue of the fee and owing me money. 分析中一个特别微妙的领域是整个费用问题。在最初的协商中，我同意她以大幅降低的费用进行分析，但我的理解是，当她的财务状况改善时，我们将提高费用——尽管在整个分析过程中，费用始终保持在较低的水平。这样的安排不可避免地激起了人们对金钱问题的所有罪恶的担忧。她接受分析的费用使她有可能支持这项分析，这就提出了一个问题:我是否在为她的利益做出牺牲，她将为此感到内疚，并对我负有责任。很明显，在分析过程中，任何让她欠我的债或激起她感激之情的事情，都会对她造成威胁，让她感到矛盾。这样的感情只会激起她的脆弱和敏感，好像感激或责任感把她置于别人的权力之内。性的类比近在咫尺;如果一个男人带她出去玩一晚或带她去吃晚饭，她不可避免地会觉得她必须为把自己的身体交给他而付出代价。因此，她担心被人利用和易受伤害，就围绕着费用和欠我钱的问题调动起来。 She saw herself as prostituting herself in the analysis, but that was somewhat paradoxical; there she had to pay to get screwed. A particularly graphic moment demonstrating her feelings about money and the analysis came at the point where she received a graduate fellowship which gave her a rather generous stipend. When I commented that she might want to give some consideration to changing her fee for the analysis, it became immediately evident that I had made a gross and horrendous blunder. She became immediately defensive, and angry, and hostile. I was like any other bastard. All I wanted was my slice of the pie. She immediately became the outraged, defenseless, helpless, and disadvantaged victim. She complained bitterly that she could never get anything in life without its being taken away. She immediately referred this feeling back to her father and how she felt "shitty" whenever she took anything from her parents. It was just better not to get anything; you didn't get anything in life for free, everyone took their pound of flesh. It was all right for people to take things from her and to leave her needy and deprived, but she could not take things from other people. She had wanted me to approve and congratulate her, not to intrude upon her with the demands of reality. Once again her expectations had been disappointed and she felt angry, hurt, and fearful. She saw me as grossly insensitive, inhumane, as taking advantage of her and abusing her. She felt my suggestion as an accusation that she was not living up to her obligations in the analysis. She saw what I said as a diabolical manipulation, just as her parents used to treat her. I had put her fellowship on the lowest common denominator, and equivalently had taken it away from her. 她认为自己是在分析过程中卖淫，但这有点自相矛盾；分析中，她必须付出代价才会被艹。有一个特别生动的时刻，能够展示她对金钱和分析的感受，当时她获得了研究生奖学金，给了她相当慷慨的助学金。当我评论说她可能想要考虑改变她的分析费用时，我立刻意识到我犯了一个严重而可怕的错误。她立刻变得防御，生气，充满敌意。我和其他混蛋一样。我只想分一杯羹。她立刻变成了愤怒、无保护、无助和弱势的受害者。她痛苦地抱怨说，她在生活中得不到任何东西，除非它被拿走。她立刻把这种感觉带回了她的父亲，以及每当她从父母那里得到任何东西时，她都感到“很屎”。最好什么也不要得到;生活中没有免费的东西，每个人都有自己的一磅肉。人们可以拿走她的东西，让她贫困潦倒，但她不能拿走别人的东西。她希望我赞同她，祝贺她，而不是向她提出现实的要求。她的期望又一次落空了，她感到愤怒、受伤和恐惧。她认为我非常麻木不仁，没有人情味，就像在利用她，虐待她一样。她认为我的建议是一种指责，说她在分析中没有履行自己的义务。她把我的话看作是一种恶毒的操纵，就像她父母过去对待她一样。我把她的友谊放在最普通的位置上，相当于把它从她身上拿走了。[偏执者往往认为一切都是交换，别人不会无缘无故对她好，都是有目的的]