The Victim and the Victimizers 受害者和迫害者 Several elements in these relationships seemed pervasive. Inevitably Karen saw herself as abused, taken advantage of in a variety of ways, and victimized. The victimization seemed to come about by reason of the fact that men would put their needs ahead of hers. As she saw it, men were only able to keep themselves in a secure and superior position by keeping women down. Karen's narcissism found it difficult to tolerate this. When this situation arose Karen responded with bitter resentment and angry contempt. She would revile these men as weak, inadequate and stupid. She felt embittered and enraged by the fact that she was not able to get out of these men the kind of care, attention, solicitude, support, and affection that she sought. She desperately needed approval and seemed as though she expected the man to more or less subjugate his interests and needs to her own. Any deviation from this pattern was seen by her as withdrawal or weakness or inadequacy. 这些关系中的几个因素似乎无处不在。卡伦不可避免地认为自己受到了虐待，以各种方式被利用，并成为受害者。受害的原因似乎是男人会把他们的需要放在她的前面。在她看来，男人只有贬低女人，才能使自己处于安全而优越的地位。卡伦的自恋让她难以忍受这点。当这种情况发生时，卡伦的反应是痛苦的怨恨和愤怒的蔑视。她会骂这些人软弱、不称职、愚蠢。她无法从这些男人身上得到她所寻求的那种关心、关注、关怀、支持和爱，这使她感到痛苦和愤怒。她迫切地需要得到男人的认可，似乎她希望男人或多或少地屈从于自己的利益和需要。任何偏离这种模式的行为，在她看来都是退缩、软弱或不足。 Her attitude toward men varied between two extremes. On the one extreme was the strong, capable, and powerful figure of the male who was also dominating and subjugating. These were the "brutes." At the other extreme, however, were the men who were impotent, inadequate, weak, who were unable to satisfy her sexually, who were threatened by any closeness or demands that she might make upon them. These were the "momma's boys," who were closely dependent and attached to their mothers. Karen saw herself as posing a threat to this symbiotic mother-tie. These latter men were referred to as the "puppydogs." 她对男人的态度介于两个极端之间。一个极端是强壮、能干和强大的男性形象，他也在统治和征服。这些都是“人面兽心的人”。然而，在另一个极端，是那些无能、不称职、软弱、无法满足她性欲的男人，他们受到她可能向他们提出的任何亲近或要求的威胁。这些是“妈妈的男孩”，他们非常依赖母亲，对母亲非常依恋。卡伦认为自己对这种共生的母子关系构成了威胁。这些人被称为“小狗”。 Once these extreme categories defined themselves, it became quickly apparent that, in Karen's view of men, if they were not being brutes they were inexorably categorized as puppydogs. Similarly if they were not clearly established as puppydogs, she tended to regard them as brutes. The categories played themselves out, inevitably, in the analysis. On any occasion when I would confront her or make an interpretation that challenged her defenses, Karen would react to me in a highly threatened and vulnerable manner, regarding me as an insensitive and calloused brute to whom she would have to submit and subjugate herself. When, however, my approach was gentle and tactful, she seemed to want to interpret this as a sign of weakness, so that any attempts on her part to argue with me or put me down, or to challenge my position as the invincible and invulnerable analyst, would be threatening or hurtful to me. In such phases she would regard me and react to me as though I were a puppydog. 一旦这些极端的分类定义了他们自己，很快就很明显，男人们在卡伦看来，如果他们不是野兽，他们就会被无情地归类为小狗。同样，如果它们没有被明确认定为小狗，她往往会把它们视为野兽。这些类别在分析中不可避免地发挥了作用。每当我和她对质，或者提出一个解释挑战她的防御时，卡伦就会以一种高度被威胁和脆弱的方式对我做出反应，把我看作一个麻木不仁、冷酷无情的畜生，她必须屈服于我，被我征服。然而,当我的方法是温柔而委婉,她似乎想要把这解释成软弱的表现,所以,任何与我争论或贬低我的尝试，挑战我无敌且刀枪不入的分析师形象的尝试，都会威胁或伤害到我。在这种情况下，她会把我当作一只小狗，对我做出反应。 In the closing months of her analysis, Karen formed another relationship with a young man who was a few years her junior and who had at one time been a student in one of her classes. There were a number of things that put Ted in an inferior position in the relationship, and thus made the relationship considerably less threatening for Karen. Despite his own inhibitions and depressive sense of his own inadequacy, he was able to establish a rather warm and mutually satisfying relationship with Karen. Moreover, the relationship was sexually gratifying and for perhaps the first time she began to find herself spontaneously responding in the sexual situation and feeling comfortable and relatively unthreatened in sexual relations. As far as Karen was concerned, she finally had been able to attain a warm, mutually supportive and gratifying relationship in which she found herself really caring about Ted, and feeling that he really cared about and was concerned about her. In the relationship she did not feel exploited or taken advantage of or subjugated. She honestly felt that for the first time in a relationship with a man the possibility was available to her of working out an egalitarian and mutually satisfying relationship. 在她分析的最后几个月里，卡伦和一个比她小几岁的年轻人建立了另一段关系，他曾经是她班上的一名学生。有很多事情使泰德在这段关系中处于劣势，从而使这段关系对卡伦的威胁大大降低。尽管他有自己的顾虑和压抑的自卑感，但他还是能够和卡伦建立起一种相当温暖和相互满意的关系。此外，这种关系在性方面是令人满意的，也许是她第一次开始发现自己在性方面会自发地作出反应，在性关系中感到舒适和相对不受威胁。就卡伦而言，她终于能够建立起一种温暖、相互支持、令人满意的关系，在这种关系中，她发现自己真的很在乎泰德，也觉得他真的很在乎她，也很关心她。在这段关系中，她没有感到被剥削、被利用或被征服。她真诚地感到，在与一个男人的关系中，她第一次有可能建立一种平等的、双方都满意的关系。