Victimization 受害 If there was any motif that summarized and focused Karen's concerns and fears it was that of victimhood, or equivalently, martyrdom. This theme was enunciated in the very first hour as we have already seen. Her conviction of being a victim permeated her attitudes toward sexual involvement. She felt used and abused. She referred to herself as a "part time geisha," feeling that any form of sexual involvement was simply a form of prostitution in which she submitted herself to the sexual desires of her male companion. "All they ever want is my ass, "was her constant complaint. The sexual encounter was constantly depicted in terms of the interaction between a victim and a victimizer. Every time her family moved it was another victimization—she was victimized by the army and victimized by her father. She felt victimized by the criticisms of her adviser and perhaps more particularly felt herself to be my victim in the analysis. 如果说有什么主题概括和集中了卡伦的担忧和恐惧，那就是受害者的身份，或者等价地说，殉难。正如我们已经看到的，这一主题在第一个小时就已经阐明了。她深信自己是受害者，这种态度渗透了她对性行为的态度。她感到被利用和虐待。她称自己为“兼职艺妓”，觉得任何形式的性行为都只是一种卖淫，在这种卖淫中，她屈服于男性伴侣的性欲。“他们想要的只是我的屁股，”她不断抱怨。性接触经常被描述为受害者和施害者之间的互动。每次她的家人搬家，都是又一个受害——她是军队的受害者，也是她父亲的受害者。她觉得自己受了导师批评的害，也许更特别的是，她觉得自己是分析中我的受害者。 It was only with considerable difficulty and in the face of great resistance that she was able to gradually see that becoming a victim was something she did herself, that she cast herself in the victim's role. She continually got herself into situations in which it turned out that she was the one who was hurt, she was the one who became the martyr. She complained that you could not get anything in life without its being taken away, and that it was better not to get anything, that nothing was for free, everyone exacted their pound of flesh. 经过相当大的困难，面对巨大的阻力，她才逐渐认识到成为受害者是她自己做的事，她把自己设为受害者的角色。她不断地让自己陷入这样的境地:她是那个受伤的人，她是那个殉道者。她抱怨说，你在生活中不失去的话得不到任何东西，得不到任何东西反而更好，没有什么是免费的，每个人都索取他们应得的那一磅肉。 It very quickly became apparent that victimization had a very specific meaning for Karen. It meant not being special, not being acknowledged and approved of, not being accorded special recognition because of her uniqueness and individuality. More precisely, the feelings of martyrdom and victimization were generated in any situation in which her own sense of importance was overridden by the importance of someone else. In any situation in which she was not given the first accord, and in which someone else's views or sentiments or feelings took precedence over her, she immediately felt she was being "shat on," taken advantage of, forced to submit herself, feeling humiliated, victimized, and martyred. There was a flamboyant, almost histrionic quality to this reaction, a kind of wailing, dirgelike quality which lent her complaining a sense of urgency and melodrama. Along with these feelings, however, there was also a strong strain of outraged fury which burst out in the agonized cry, "Who in hell do they think they are?" 显而易见，受害对卡伦来说有着非常特殊的意义。这意味着不特别，不被承认和认可，不因为她的独特性和个性被给予特殊的认可。更确切地说，在她自己的重要性被别人的重要性所压倒的任何情况下，都会产生殉难和受害的感觉。在任何情况下，如果她没有首先得到别人的同意，而别人的观点、意见或感觉又凌驾于她之上，她就会立即感到自己在“被拉屎”，被人利用，被迫屈服，感到屈辱、受害和殉道。她的这种反应带有一种华丽的、近乎戏剧性的气质，一种哀嚎般的、像挽歌一样的气质，使她的抱怨具有一种紧迫感和戏剧性。然而，除了这些感觉之外，还有一种强烈的愤怒，在痛苦的呼喊中爆发出来，“他们到底以为自己是谁?” It was also abundantly clear that there was an identification in her mind between being a martyr and being a woman. When her father said to her mother "Don't be a martyr!" it really meant "Don't be a woman!" To be a woman meant equivalently to be a victim, to be a martyr, to be weak and full of hurt, depressed, to have sentimental emotionality. She could not understand how other people could be emotional without being weak. The model for this attitude was quite clearly Karen's mother. She spoke frequently about her mother's "martyr complex." Her mother bore the brunt of her father's frequent abuses and constantly complained to Karen about how disadvantaged and difficult she felt her life to be. Mother's martyrdom extended even to the bed, where she communicated the attitude that sex was not a matter of enjoyment for her, but that she had to submit herself to it simply because Karen's father wanted it. The unavoidable message, of course, was that the woman had to submit to the wishes of a man and to put herself at the demeaning service of his sexual pleasure. 同样非常清楚的是，在她的思想中，做一名殉道者与做一名女性之间有一种认同。当她的父亲对她的母亲说:“不要做殉道者!”它的真正意思是“不要做女人!”做一个女人就意味着成为一个受害者，成为一个殉道者，变得软弱，充满伤害，沮丧，感情用事。她无法理解，如果没有软弱，其他人怎么会有情感。这种态度的榜样显然是卡伦的母亲。她经常谈到她母亲的“殉道者情结”。她的母亲承受着父亲经常虐待的冲击，不断向卡伦抱怨她觉得自己的生活是多么的贫困和艰难。母亲的殉难甚至延伸到了床上，她在床上传达出这样一种态度:对她来说，性不是一种享受，而仅仅因为卡伦的父亲想要，她就不得不屈从于它。当然，不可避免的信息是，女人必须服从男人的意愿，让自己为他的性快感服务。