Trust 信任 The basic issue in all of this was the issue of trust. Karen saw the analytic situation and her relationship to me specifically as requiring a leap of faith which left her exposed and vulnerable. Could she trust anyone beside herself? She called herself the "do-it-yourself-kid." She placed great stock in her own self-reliance; if she could not rely on herself who was there she could trust? She had trusted other men, made herself vulnerable in other relationships, but had always been betrayed. The paradigm for this was her relationship with her father, where her expectations and hopes had always been frustrated and disappointed. She felt betrayed by his constant leaving, and the betrayal became the paradigm for other relationships. 所有这些的基本问题都是信任的问题。卡伦把这种分析性的情况和她与我的关系看作是需要一种信仰的飞跃，这让她暴露且脆弱。除了她自己，她还能相信别人吗?她称自己为“自己动手的孩子”。她非常相信自己的自立;如果她不能依靠自己，她还能相信谁呢?她曾经信任过别的男人，在别的关系上使自己变得脆弱，但总是被人出卖。这方面的典范是她与父亲的关系，她的期望和希望总是受挫和失望。他不断的离开让她觉得被背叛了，这种背叛成为了其他关系的典范。 Karen's history, as she recounted it, is a saga of continual and unremitting betrayal. Her reminiscences of childhood, for example, were accounts of betrayal—promises that her parents made and failed to keep, hopes that she was allowed to cherish and build upon that were frustrated and disappointed, expectations that were generated and consequently disappointed. There seemed to have been a characteristic deceitfulness that found its way into her mother's way of dealing with her. Her mother was unable to deny Karen something that she wished, and both she and her father seemed unable to simply confront Karen's wishes and in a straightforward way forbid her to do or have what she wanted. They resorted to indirect means of postponing or dallying with decisions and then in the final analysis preventing her from having what she had asked for or from doing what she had wanted to do. 卡伦的历史，正如她所叙述的，是一个不断的、不懈的背叛传奇。例如，她对童年的回忆是对背叛的描述——她的父母做出的承诺没有兑现，她被允许去珍惜和建立的希望受挫和失望，产生的期望也因此而失望。她母亲对待她的方式中似乎有一种特有的欺骗。她的母亲无法拒绝卡伦的愿望，她和她的父亲似乎都无法简单地面对卡伦的愿望，并且直截了当地禁止她做她想做的事或拥有她想要的东西。他们采取间接的手段来推迟或拖延决定，并在最后阻止她得到她所要求的或做她想做的。 This was a constantly recurring patern by which the parents dealt with her in her childhood years. The result was that, without a firm refusal or denial or prior parental prohibition, Karen would build up her expectations and finally, when it was clear that she would not get what she wanted, her disappointment was all the more intense. Her parents would in a dilatory way say that maybe she could have what she wanted, or say that they would think about it later, or use a variety of other diversionary tactics. When the parents finally did say no under such circumstances, the prohibition came across to Karen as a betrayal. 这是她小时候父母对待她时经常使用的一种方式。结果是，如果没有坚定的拒绝、否认或之前父母的禁止，卡伦就会建立起自己的期望。最后，当她很明显得不到自己想要的东西时，她的失望就会更加强烈。她的父母会拖拖拉拉地说，也许她可以得到她想要的东西，或者说他们以后会考虑这件事，或者使用各种其他分散注意力的策略。当父母最终在这种情况下说“不”时，这条禁令对卡伦来说就是一种背叛。 We have noted other significant betrayals that she experienced, not the least of which were her father's repeated departures. True to the parents' style of avoidance, the father's departures were not treated in a straightforward or planned manner. Rather they were painful and disappointing events, certainly to Karen's mother, and to Karen as well. Consequently they were events that were not talked about, were not planned, were not scheduled, so that there was never any opportunity to work through the issues of disappointment and loss. Rather the issue was always avoided, not discussed, even denied. The father would then spring his new orders on the family as a last-minute surprise, immediately before he took leave. 我们注意到她经历的其他重大背叛，其中最重要的是她父亲的多次离开。正如父母的回避风格一样，父亲的离开没有得到直接或有计划的对待。相反，它们是痛苦和令人失望的事情，当然对卡伦的母亲来说是这样，对卡伦也是这样。因此，这些事件没有被谈论，没有被计划，没有被安排，所以从来没有任何机会去解决失望和损失的问题。相反，这个问题总是被回避，不被讨论，甚至被否认。然后，这位父亲会在临行前的最后一分钟突然向这家人下达新命令，作为一个惊喜。 Again it was a process, so characteristic in Karen's family, of avoiding painful issues, allowing expectations to rise, and then cruelly and abruptly dashing them to the ground. Thus father's leavings were harsh, cruel, unfeeling betrayals that took the form of cruelly and arbitrarily imposing on Karen her parents' will, placing their needs and wishes before her own. It was a reenactment and re-creation of the paradigm that must have permeated most interactions with her parents from the very beginning of her life. 这又是一个避免痛苦问题的过程，这个过程在卡伦的家庭中很有特色，允许期望值上升，然后残酷地、突然地把期望值摔到地上。因此，父亲的离开是残酷无情的背叛，以残酷和武断的方式把卡伦她父母的意志强加在卡伦身上，把他们的需要和愿望放在卡伦的前面。这是对范式的重新设定和再创造，从她生命的一开始，这种范式就必然渗透到她与父母的大多数互动中。 The issue of betrayal was also embedded in Karen's continuing relationship with her mother. Karen's unremitting expectation was that she should be accepted and recognized for herself, in short that she be given a sense of the trustworthiness of her own individuality by her mother. This expectation was constantly betrayed. Her mother's own needs intruded on the relationship and took unremitting precedence over Karen's needs, wishes, expectations, and hopes. The message that was continually broadcast from mother was her anxiety that Karen should do the right thing, act in an appropriate and approvable manner, respond in ways that would support mother's own expectations and needs for her to be the dutiful and conformingly observant daughter. 背叛的问题也深植于卡伦与母亲的持续关系中。卡伦坚持不懈的期望是，她应该以真实的样子被接受和认可，简而言之，她的母亲应该给她一种对自己个性的信任感。这种期望经常遭到背叛。她母亲自己的需要干扰了这段关系，她坚持不懈地凌驾于卡伦的需要、愿望、期望和希望之上。不断从母亲那里传来的信息是她的焦虑:卡伦应该做正确的事，以适当和赞许的方式行动，以支持母亲自己的期望和需要的方式做出反应，即成为一个尽职尽责、循规蹈矩的女儿。 For Karen to trust meant to open herself to being hurt. She felt more cautious now, more suspicious, more guarded. Her attitude was more cynical now; she was not going to let herself get involved in such a relationship again. 对卡伦来说，信任就意味着打开自己接受伤害。她现在感到更加谨慎，更加多疑，更加警惕了。现在她的态度更加玩世不恭了;她不会再让自己卷入这种关系。 If she could not trust anyone else, where was there for her to place her trust? The only thing she could trust was her own intelligence, her own brain, her own capacity to understand and analyze. Consequently, it was inevitable that anything in the analysis that brought into focus anything she had not already thought of and not already considered and analyzed, anything unexpected, anything hidden, anything that smacked of the unconscious was for her a source of threat and tremendous anxiety. If she could not know, if she could not understand and analyze, she felt vulnerable, helpless, and incredibly threatened. 如果她不能信任任何人，她还能信任谁呢?她唯一能相信的就是她自己的智慧，她自己的大脑，她自己理解和分析的能力。因此，不可避免的是，在分析中，任何使她没有想到的、没有考虑过的、没有分析过的、任何意想不到的、任何隐藏的、任何无意识的东西，对她来说都是威胁和巨大焦虑的来源。如果她不知道，如果她不能理解和分析，她会感到脆弱、无助和难以置信的威胁。 She felt the powerful pull of dependence on me, which made a demand on her to place her trust in me in the analytic relationship. This was one of the most difficult things for her to accomplish. It was also a powerful source of much of her resistance. She felt it necessary to match her intelligence against mine—to reassure herself against the feelings of vulnerability and helplessness by exercising her own analytic intelligence and demonstrating to herself that her understanding and her capacity to analyze were superior to mine. 她感到了对我的强烈依赖，这就要求她在分析关系中信任我。这是她最难完成的事情之一。这也是她抵抗动力的一个强大来源。她觉得有必要把自己的智力与我的智力相匹配，通过运用自己的分析能力，向自己证明她的理解能力和分析能力比我强，从而消除自己的脆弱和无助感。