Bob's Father 鲍勃的父亲 The problem for Bob in all of this was that the more successful he became in overcoming and defending himself against his inner fears in these ways, the more he became like his father. Bob hated and feared his father. He saw him as a tough, ruthless, selfish, and unprincipled man who would destroy anyone who got in his way. Father and mother had not gotten along at all well for years, and Bob's father had taken to consorting with other women. This was a source of continual conflict between father and mother, and a source of great anguish and pain to Bob's mother. Bob hated his father for this behavior, and yet strove to become more like his father. Becoming more like father was the best way of gaining father's approval and of being able to get close to him. Yet Bob hated what his father represented. Thus the conflict was drawn. Bob was trapped between two conflicting and contrasting parental identifications. To be strong and aggressive meant to become like his father—hard, cruel, sadistic, selfish, using women for one's own pleasure, being a tough "loner" and not being afraid of anything, being willing to do anything or to hurt anyone in order to get what one wanted. But not to be that was to become like mother—weak, dependent, easily hurt and sensitive, vulnerable, "gutless," "no balls," homosexual. Bob's solution of his dilemma was to find a safe middle ground where he could avoid either alternative, where he could withdraw himself from life and the ultimate threat of death, where he could hide from his destructive wishes and inner rage. It seemed that the configuration of counterphobic toughness and competitive competence that characterized Bob's false self was built around the central introjection of his father. Beneath this facade, however, there lay another image of himself, this time based on the pervasive and highly influential introjection of his victimized mother. It was through the internalization of these respective introjects that Bob found himself in such difficult straits. The course of his therapy required that he divest himself of, and work through, both of these pathogenic introjects. 鲍勃在这一切中的问题是，他越是成功地用这些方法克服和保护自己不受内心恐惧的影响，他就越像他的父亲。鲍勃又恨又怕他的父亲。他认为他是一个强硬、无情、自私、毫无原则的人，谁挡了他的道，他就会消灭谁。多年来，父母关系一直不好，鲍勃的父亲开始和其他女人交往。这是父亲和母亲之间持续冲突的根源，也是鲍勃母亲极度痛苦的根源。鲍勃恨他的父亲的这种行为，但努力变得更像他的父亲。变得更像父亲是获得父亲认可和亲近他的最好方法。但是鲍勃讨厌他父亲所代表的东西。冲突就这样产生了。鲍勃被困在两种相互冲突、相互对立的父母身份之间。坚强和好斗意味着要变得像他的父亲一样——严厉、残忍、施虐、自私、利用女人为自己谋取快乐，成为一个坚强的“独行侠”，无所畏惧，为了得到自己想要的东西，愿意做任何事或伤害任何人。但如果不是这样，就会变得像母亲一样——软弱、依赖、容易受伤、敏感、脆弱、“没胆”、“没鸡巴”、同性恋。鲍勃对自己困境的解决办法是找到一个安全的中间地带，在那里他可以避免任何一种选择，在那里他可以远离生活和死亡的最终威胁，在那里他可以隐藏自己破坏性的愿望和内心的愤怒。反恐惧的坚强和竞争能力构成了鲍勃的虚假自体，这似乎是围绕着他父亲的中心内摄建立起来的。然而，在这外表之下，他的另一个形象，这一次是基于他受害母亲无处不在的、极具影响力的内摄。正是通过内化这些各自内摄物，鲍勃发现自己处于如此困难的境地。他的治疗过程要求他自己摆脱这两种致病内摄，并努力克服它们。 If we look back in this story—a strange story in so many ways—we can begin to see how the acute delusional system, which Bob generated in the face of his accumulating losses and disappointments, answered to most of his inner fears and insecurities. To be a god, to have godlike powers, to be able to become what and who one wished at will, to be able to influence men's thoughts and to change the course of human events, to be immortal and to live forever, not to have to worry about sex or marriage, not to have to fear death and the divine wrath—the delusion was a solution for many deep and long-standing fears. We can also begin to see that the resolution provided by the delusional system was an extreme fantasy, bizarre and unrealistic, but it was at the same time substantially an intensification and delusional expression of thoughts and wishes that had been in Bob's head for a long time. We can also see that the delusion answered not merely to difficulties, uncertainties, and weaknesses that were current in Bob's life, but that the origins and roots of these doubts reached back in his early childhood experiences. We can trace an unbroken line of continuity from earliest childhood memories which enunciates over and over again in multiple varieties and multiple modalities the theme of weakness and inadequacy. 如果我们回顾这个故事——一个从很多方面来看都很奇怪的故事——我们可以开始看到，鲍勃在面对不断积累的损失和失望时产生的急性妄想系统，是如何回应他内心的大部分恐惧和不安全感的。成为神，拥有神一样的力量，能够随心所欲地成为自己想成为的人，能够影响人们的思想，改变人类事件的进程，能够长生不老，不必担心性和婚姻，不必害怕死亡和神的愤怒——这种妄想是许多长久以来深深的恐惧的解决办法。我们也可以看到，妄想症系统提供的解决方案是一种极端的幻想，奇怪而不切实际，但同时它实质上是对鲍勃头脑中长期存在的想法和愿望的强化和妄想的表达。我们还可以看到，这种错觉不仅回答了鲍勃生活中当前的困难、不确定和弱点，而且这些怀疑的起源和根源可以追溯到他早期的童年经历。我们可以从最早的童年记忆中找到一条连续不断的线，它以多种形式和多种方式一遍又一遍地阐述软弱和不足的主题。