Religious and Authoritarian Conflicts 宗教与专制冲突 Related to this was the question of Bob's Jewishness. He regarded it as a stigma, something to be lived down. He worked very hard to deny it—he did not socialize with other Jews, did not date Jewish girls, did not observe any of the Jewish religious practices. All his life, he complained, he was told what good Jewish boys didn't do—particularly by his mother. Good Jewish boys didn't drink, they didn't have sex all over the place, they didn't fight, etc. His mother was strict in her religious observance, attending the synagogue regularly and praying. His father was just the opposite. He rarely went to the synagogue, and then only on his wife's pleading—and just for show. Bob felt that his father was a hypocrite, going to synagogue only on the high holy days and not really believing or living any of his religion in the rest of his life. Bob was made to go to synagogue school and learn Hebrew just to satisfy his father, who would brag about how well he knew Hebrew. Rebelling against the Jewish religion was a way of becoming more like father and at the same time of rejecting and hurting mother. 与此相关的是鲍勃的犹太身份问题。他认为这是一种耻辱，是一种应该被忘却的东西。他非常努力地否认这一点——他不与其他犹太人交往，不与犹太女孩约会，不遵守任何犹太宗教习俗。他抱怨说，在他的一生中，他总是被教导好的犹太男孩不会做的事情——尤其是他的母亲。好犹太男孩不喝酒，不到处做爱，不打架，等等。他的母亲严格遵守她的宗教仪式，经常去犹太教堂，祷告。他的父亲恰恰相反。他很少去犹太教堂，也只是在他妻子的恳求下——而且只是做做样子。鲍勃觉得他的父亲是个伪君子，他只在神圣的日子去犹太教堂，其余时间并不真正相信或者按宗教去生活。鲍勃被迫去犹太学校学习希伯来语，只是为了让他的父亲满意，他的父亲会吹嘘他对希伯来语有多精通。反抗犹太宗教是一种变得更像父亲的方式，同时也是拒绝和伤害母亲的方式。 We have seen how Bob's relations with older figures who stood in some relation of authority to him were contaminated by competitive antagonism and hostility. He countered his underlying feelings of weakness and incapacity by continual attempts to compete, master, and prove himself. His early experience was one of constant pressure to perform—to measure up to a standard that he never felt he could meet. Whatever he did or accomplished was never good enough to satisfy either his mother or his father. He had to compete against his sisters, both of whom were bright students and good achievers. But they were not expected to achieve. Bob was the boy of the family; he was the object of mother's narcissistic investment and was expected to compete and achieve more than the girls. His inability to do this consistently was a constant source of dissatisfaction and disappointment for him and of criticism by his parents. 我们已经看到，鲍勃同那些与他有某种权威关系的年长人物的关系是如何被竞争性敌对和敌意所污染的。他通过不断地尝试竞争、掌握和证明自己来对抗自己潜在的软弱和无能的感觉。他早期的经历是一种持续的压力，要求他表现出来，以达到他觉得自己永远无法达到的标准。无论他做了什么，取得了什么成就，都不能使他的父母满意。他必须和他的姐妹们竞争，她们都是聪明的学生，成绩很好。但是他们并没有被期望能够实现。鲍勃是家里的男孩；他是母亲自恋投资的客体，被期望竞争并比女孩们取得更多的成就。他无法始终做到这一点，这一直是他不满和失望的根源，也是他父母批评的原因。 Thus, in reaction to his fears of inadequacy and his inner doubts about himself, he had a strong need to prove his superiority and ability at every turn. He found it necessary to gain approval from superior figures—teachers, supervisors, anyone whom he saw in a position superior to his own. This was also a factor in his relationship to me as his therapist. These relationships were contaminated by aspects of his relationship with his parents—particularly his father. The ambivalence was apparent. He had a strong need to be accepted and approved. He sought to be compliant and to do what he thought was expected of him. At the same time there was a strong impulse to compete and to prove himself as good as, or better than, the father substitute. He was caught in a difficult position: on one hand, he needed to be compliant in order to gain the approval he needed so badly; yet on the other hand, he wanted to compete and rebel in order to prove himself better. The dilemma of compliance versus rebellion is central in the paranoid conflict. 因此，出于对自己能力不足的恐惧和内心对自己的怀疑，他迫切需要在每一个时刻证明自己的优越性和能力。他发现有必要获得上级人物的认可——老师、主管、任何比他地位高的人。这也是他和我这个治疗师关系的一个因素。这些关系受到了他与父母关系的影响，尤其是与父亲的关系。这种矛盾情绪很明显。他强烈地需要被接受和认可。他力求顺从，按他认为别人对他的期望去做。与此同时，他有一种强烈的竞争冲动，想要证明自己和父亲的替代品一样好，甚至更好。他陷入了两难的境地：一方面，他需要顺从，以获得他迫切需要的认可;但另一方面，他想要竞争和反抗，以证明自己更好。在偏执的冲突中，服从与反抗的困境是中心问题。 These elements entered into the transference relationship. He saw the psychiatrist as a powerful and influential figure from whom he had much to learn. The doctor was someone who could convey to him the secret of how to live in a healthy and successful manner—who could show him how to be the strong and successful man that he wished to become and felt he was not. We can recall that in his acute delusional state he thought that he had become a psychiatrist and that the role that he saw himself adopting as a member of his godlike race was that of psychiatrist—a position from which he could exercise control over men's minds and influence the course of human events. He saw his therapist very much in that light, and his expectations of therapy had a magic cast. He seemed to feel that all he had to do was to do the right thing, submit himself to the prescriptions of the psychiatrist and do what was asked of him, and he would automatically (magically) get better. This attitude reflected his childhood wishes to be accepted by his father and to gain strength and approval by pleasing the latter. Much of the early course of treatment was taken up with discussions of this area of his thinking. His attitude was that he would follow instructions to the letter, including talking about his history and thoughts and feelings in therapy; he would perform the "procedure" and get the job done—and then he would be healthy again and would leave all of this "bad dream" behind him. He wanted "to get in and get it over with." This was the set of mind with which he approached so many of the aspects of his life. He approached surgery in the same way, putting the emphasis on speed, precision of technique, and getting the job done. He found it difficult to resign himself to the slow, gradual, step-by-painful-step of the therapeutic process. From time to time he would voice his impatience and his disappointment that he hadn't done the job yet. Inevitably he tried to assign the blame to himself, taking his lack of ability to improve as proof of his inadequacy. As will become clearer, this very conformity with the demands of his professional role, as well as his cooperation with the expectations of therapy, formed the core of the "false self" that was fundamental to his pathology. 这些元素进入移情关系。他认为这位精神科医生是一位有权势、有影响力的人物，他有很多东西要向他学习。医生是一个可以向他传授如何健康而成功地生活的秘诀的人——一个可以向他展示如何成为一个强壮而成功的人，那是他希望成为的，但他觉得自己并没有成为的人。我们还记得，在他的急性妄想状态下，他认为自己已经成为了一名精神科医生，他认为自己作为神一般种族的一员所扮演的角色是精神科医生——在这个职位上，他可以控制人们的思想，影响人类事件的进程。他从这个角度看待他的治疗师，他对治疗的期望有一种魔力投射。他似乎觉得，他所要做的就是做正确的事，服从精神科医生的处方，按他的要求去做，他就会自动(神奇地)好起来。这种态度反映了他童年时希望被父亲接受，并通过取悦父亲来获得力量和认可的愿望。早期治疗的大部分时间都在讨论他的这方面的思想。他的态度是，他会严格按照指示去做，包括谈论他的历史、在治疗中的想法和感受；他会执行“程序”并完成任务——然后他就会恢复健康，把所有这些“噩梦”都抛在身后。他想“进去把事情做完”。这就是他对待生活中许多方面的心态。他以同样的方式对待外科手术，强调速度、技术的准确性和完成任务。他发现很难让自己屈从于缓慢、渐进、一步一步痛苦的治疗过程。他不时地表达自己的不耐烦和失望，因为他还没有完成这项工作。不可避免地，他试图把责任归咎于自己，把自己缺乏进步的能力作为自己能力不足的证明。越来越清楚的是，这种与他职业角色要求的一致，以及他与治疗期望的合作，构成了“虚假自体”的核心，这是他病理的基础。