Defectiveness 缺陷 Bob's feelings of inadequacy were related to another source. He was born with a congenital hernia and one testicle had failed to descend. This was a source of constant concern—particularly to his mother. In her obsessive mothering, this became a focus of considerable anxiety and concern on her part. Bob's defectiveness was equivalently an assault on her own sense of adequacy. There were countless visits to doctors and special precautions to protect him from injury. Bob himself recalled that when he was playing the hernia would often swell and become somewhat painful. At these times he would become afraid of hurting himself. He felt that he couldn't play like the other kids and would often cry. This fear of being hurt played into his unwillingness and fear of fighting. His mother's obsessive concerns about his vulnerability and susceptibility to injury became part of his own attitude about himself. These fears and concerns—shared and communicated between mother and son—were contributing factors to Bob's feelings of inadequacy and his feeling unable to measure up to his father's tough standards. We can also see how the mother's protective concern and the father's contempt for such weakness would clash. 鲍勃的不足感与另一个来源有关。他出生时患有先天性疝气，一个睾丸无法下降。这是一直担心的问题——尤其是对他的母亲来说。在她强迫性的母爱中，这成了她相当焦虑和担忧的焦点。鲍勃的缺陷相当于对她自己的充分感的攻击。他无数次去看医生，采取特别措施保护他免受伤害。鲍勃自己回忆说，当他玩的时候，疝气经常膨胀，变得有点疼。在这种时候，他会害怕伤害自己。他觉得自己不能像其他孩子一样玩耍，经常哭。由于害怕受伤，他才不愿意和害怕打架。他母亲对他的脆弱和易受伤害的过分担心，成了他对待自己的态度的一部分。这些母亲和儿子之间分享和交流的恐惧和担忧是导致鲍勃感到不足的因素，他觉得无法达到他父亲的严厉标准。我们还可以看到，母亲的保护关怀和父亲对这种软弱的蔑视是如何发生冲突的。 Bob recalled years of preoccupation with this condition. He remembered getting several series of hormone shots—none of which had any effect. Finally he was operated on when he was eleven years old. He recalled the operation vividly and remembered the rubber band running from his knee to his testicles. He remembered the embarrassment of this condition—especially in relation to the nurses and other patients in the hospital. It was a sign of his inferiority and the fact that his testicle had to be fixed. Bob's concern over his genitals had extended into his adult life. He was concerned that his penis was too small. He often asked the girls he had slept with whether his penis was big enough, whether it was as big as other men's, and whether it was big enough to satisfy them. He sought constant reassurance on this score. He also stubbornly clung to a belief that he was impotent—an astonishing fact in view of his sexual history. We can retrace the pertinent aspects of his sexual life at this point. 鲍勃回忆起多年来对这种疾病的关注。他记得自己打了好几针激素针，但都没有任何效果。最后，他在11岁的时候做了手术。他生动地回忆起那次手术，还记得皮筋从膝盖一直延伸到睾丸。他还记得这种情况下的尴尬——尤其是与医院里的护士和其他病人的关系。这是他自卑的表现，也是他的睾丸必须修整的事实。鲍勃对生殖器的担忧一直延续到他的成年生活。他担心自己的阴茎太小了。他经常问和他睡过的女孩，他的阴茎是否足够大，是否和其他男人的一样大，是否足够大，可以满足她们。在这方面，他不断寻求保证。他还固执地认为自己阳痿——考虑到他的性史，这是一个令人震惊的事实。在这一点上，我们可以追溯他性生活的相关方面。