Resolution of Ambivalence 矛盾心理的解决 An important aspect of this development in therapy was its relationship to Don's ambivalence toward both parents. His basic inability to tolerate ambivalence had been responsible for the inner splitting and projecting that had structured his interaction with both parents and had contributed to the quality of the respective introjects. Don came slowly and reluctantly to see and understand his ambivalence toward his mother. He saw himself in terms of his dependent clinging to her as a loving and giving figure in his life. In the exploration of his prolonged and unfinished mourning of her death, however, it became increasingly clear that there was much in their relationship that he resented. He resented his dependence on her and her contributing to it by trying to keep him tied to her apron strings. He also resented her attacks on his father. This aspect of her behavior he had never been able to acknowledge to himself, and it was part of his need to see her as helpless and victimized. Similarly, in relation to his father, Don came to see that there was a strong bond between himself and his father, and that part of his anger and resentment against the old man was due to Don's more or less repressed wish to be close to his father and to be able to win a more secure place in his father's affection and respect. It came as a great revelation to him, for example, that after he blew up at his sister over his wearing a beard, his father began to treat him with greater deference and respect. The gradual clarification of these elements of his ambivalence went hand-in-hand with the clarification of his perceptions of both parents. His increasing ability to acknowledge ambivalence and to tolerate it contributed significantly to his therapeutic progress. 这一治疗进展的一个重要方面是它与唐对双方父母的矛盾心理的关系。他根本无法容忍矛盾心理，这导致了他与父母的内在分裂和投射，这构成了他与双方父母的互动，也影响了各自内摄物的质量。唐慢慢地、不情愿地看到并理解了自己对母亲的矛盾心理。他把自己对母亲的依附看作是对他生命中一个充满爱和奉献的人物的依附。然而，在他对她的死所进行的漫长而未完成的哀悼中，越来越清楚的是，他们的关系中有很多地方是他所憎恨的。他痛恨自己对她的依赖，痛恨她试图把他拴在自己的围裙上，助长了这种依赖。他也憎恨她对他父亲的攻击。他从来没有意识到她行为的这一方面，这是他想把她看作一个无助的受害者的需要的一部分。同样，在与父亲的关系上，唐逐渐发现自己与父亲之间有着一种强烈的联系，他对老人的愤怒和怨恨部分是由于唐多少受到压抑的希望与父亲亲近的愿望，希望能够在父亲的爱和尊重中赢得一个更稳固的位置。这对他是一个很大的启示，例如，在他因为自己留胡子而对姐姐大发脾气之后，他的父亲开始对他更加顺从和尊重了。他对这些矛盾心理因素的逐渐澄清与他对父母的看法的澄清是同时进行的。他日益增强的承认矛盾心理和容忍矛盾心理的能力对他的治疗进展有显著贡献。