Parental Interaction 父母互动 The relationship between the parents was not a happy one. Don's father was a dentist, but a rather unsuccessful one. His practice was never flourishing. He was apparently a very irascible man with a violent temper. He was quick to explode in anger at patients. This inevitably meant that he never had many patients who were eager to come back to see him after a few visits. The family finances were shaky. They never seemed to have enough money to do things that they would have wanted to do. This was particularly irritating for Don's mother. She would criticize and badger her husband about money, and there were frequent arguments about this subject. 父母之间的关系并不愉快。唐的父亲是个牙医，但并不成功。他的事业从来没有兴旺过。他显然是一个脾气暴躁的人。他动不动就对病人大发雷霆。这不可避免地意味着，他从来没有多少病人在看了几次之后就急切地回来看他。家里的经济状况很不稳定。他们似乎从来没有足够的钱去做他们想做的事情。这让唐的母亲特别恼火。她会在钱的问题上批评和纠缠她的丈夫，并且经常为此争吵。 There were frequent arguments anyway. Don recalled that there was a major argument and confrontation almost every night. Both parents drank heavily. It is not clear that both were alcoholic, although Don stated unequivocally that such was the case. At any rate, they were both often drunk. By the time the end of the day came around, mother was frequently on the thin edge. She was given to tippling during the day, and apparently took more toward the end of the day in preparation for Don's father's arrival home. By the time he arrived, mother would be in a nasty and argumentative mood. Usually the argument started by mother launching an attack on Don's father. Sometimes Don's father would have had a few by the time he arrived home; even so, he would begin drinking and gradually get soused. Then the argument would rage, with lots of shouting and occasional physical abuse. Don's father had a mean temper anyway, and the mother would provoke him into physical violence without much difficulty. 不管怎样争吵也经常发生。唐回忆说，几乎每天晚上都有重大的争吵和对抗。父母都酗酒。目前尚不清楚两人是否都酗酒，尽管唐明确表示这是事实。不管怎么说，他们俩都经常喝醉。到一天快结束的时候，母亲常常处于虚弱的边缘。她白天喝得醉醺醺的，到了晚上，为了迎接唐的父亲回家，她显然喝得更多了。等他来的时候，母亲会很讨厌，很爱吵架。通常争吵开始于母亲对唐的父亲的攻击。有时候，唐的父亲到家时已经喝了几杯了；即便如此，他还是会开始喝酒，慢慢地喝得酩酊大醉。然后争吵就会很激烈，大喊大叫，偶尔还会有肢体暴力。唐的父亲脾气很坏，而他的母亲会毫不费力地挑起他的肢体暴力。 These arguments were particularly wrenching for little Don. He would listen to his parents shouting at each other, and tremble fearfully. His fears were terrifying to his tender soul. He was afraid that one of his parents would be hurt in these fights—particularly his mother. He tended to see her as the vulnerable one in the relationship who was unjustly brutalized by his father. His sympathies definitely lay on her side then, and he saw his father as the unjust and brutal aggressor. Interestingly enough, during the course of his therapy he was able to see that his mother was not simply an innocent bystander, but that she was more often than not the agent provocateur. He was afraid, then, however, that his father would kill his mother. He knew that his father was a violent and quick-tempered man. He knew that his father kept a loaded gun in his bedroom drawer. These elements added to his fears and made him hate and fear his father. In addition, the argument would frequently take a turn and focus on him. His father would attack his mother in regard to her close relationship with him and would criticize her wanting to keep Don around her so much and keep him so close to her. Don often felt in these circumstances that his parents were really fighting about him. He felt responsible for their fighting and for the fact that they could never get along. He was afraid that he would be the cause of whatever dreadful outcomes he was imagining—whether that be a divorce and the breaking up of his family, or whether it be the murderous outcome that haunted his mind. In any case, the effect on him was dreadful. 这些争论对小唐来说尤其痛苦。他会听到他的父母互相喊叫，害怕地发抖。他的恐惧使他脆弱的灵魂感到恐惧。他害怕他的父母之一会在这些战斗中受伤——尤其是他的母亲。他倾向于把她看作是这段关系中脆弱的那个人，被他父亲不公平地虐待。那么他的同情肯定是站在她这一边的，他认为他的父亲是不公正的、残暴的攻击者。有趣的是，在他的治疗过程中，他能够看到他的母亲不仅仅是一个无辜的旁观者，她更多的时候是一个煽动者。然而，他担心他的父亲会杀死他的母亲。他知道他的父亲是一个暴躁的人。他知道他父亲在卧室抽屉里放了一把上了膛的枪。这些因素增加了他的恐惧，使他对父亲又恨又怕。此外，争论经常会转向他身上。他的父亲会攻击他的母亲，因为她和他的亲密关系，会批评她想把唐留在自己身边，让他与自己如此亲密。在这种情况下，唐常常觉得他的父母真的在为他吵架。他觉得自己应该为他们的争吵负责，也应该为他们无法和睦相处负责。他害怕自己会导致他所想象的任何可怕的结果——可能是离婚和家庭破裂，也可能是萦绕在他脑海中的杀人的结果。无论如何，这对他的影响是可怕的。