Tolerance for Separation 对分离的容忍 If the sense of identity requires and builds itself in relationship to a sense of communion and belonging with both significant objects and a context of belonging, as we have suggested, it is also true that an important element in the maintaining and functioning of the sense of identity is its capacity to tolerate a separation from the same significant objects. Modell (1968) has discussed this important developmental attainment in the following terms: 如果身份感 要求并将自身建立在 一种团体感和归属感(归属于重要客体和所归属的环境)之上，正如我们所建议的那样，那么身份感能保持和发挥作用的一个重要元素就是它忍受与同一个重要客体分离的能力。Modell（1968）用以下术语讨论了这一重要的发展成就： That a loving parent has been internalized and become part of the self, so that one is able to love oneself, has been described as an aspect of narcissism....I am suggesting that the awareness of the self as a discrete and beloved entity (the narcissistic gratification of self-love) may enable the individual to accept the fact that objects in the external world are separate and can be lost and destroyed....Whether or not this assumption is correct, it is a fact that those individuals who have the capacity to accept the separateness of objects are those that have a distinct, at least in part, beloved sense of self. If one can be a loving parent to oneself, one can more readily accept the separateness of objects. This is a momentous step in psychic development (p. 59) 一个慈爱的父母已经内化并成为自体的一部分，所以一个体能够爱自己，这被描述为自恋的一个方面……我的意思是，意识到自体是一个独立的、受人喜爱的实体(自体-爱 的自恋满足)，可能会使个体接受这样一个事实，即外部世界的客体是独立的，可以丢失和毁灭……不管这个假设是否正确，事实是那些有能力接受客体的分离的人是那些拥有分离的，至少部分的，被人爱的自体感的人。如果一个体能成为自己慈爱的父母，他就能更容易地接受客体的分离。这是心理发展的重要一步(第59页) We have already touched in our discussion on the developmental aspects of the capacity to tolerate anxiety, frustration, and disappointment. The capacity to tolerate separation of significant objects is a correlative of the capacity to tolerate painful reality. It is only on this basis that a mature capacity for realistic object-relations can be established and sustained. The mature sense of self, the fully developed sense of identity, then, is correlated with the capacity to recognize and accept the identity of others and the ability to come to terms with and acknowledge the separateness and the autonomy of those others. Where there is an intolerance for such separateness, there develops an inner need to both incorporate the object within the limits of one's own self or to extend the orbit of the self to encompass that object. This incorporating or extending is accomplished through defensively toned uses of projection and introjection. When a relationship is contaminated with introjective components, the object begins to be regarded as somehow belonging to the self—the sort of self-objects to which Kohut's (1971) considerations of narcissism address themselves. 在讨论中，我们已经触及了容忍焦虑、挫折和失望的能力的发展方面。对与重要客体分离的容忍能力与对痛苦现实的容忍能力是相关的。只有在这个基础上，才能建立和维持成熟的现实客体关系能力。成熟的自体感，充分发展的身份感，是与承认和接受他人身份的能力，以及接受和承认他人的独立性和自主权的能力相关的。当人们不能容忍这种分离时，就会产生一种内在的需要，既要将客体纳入一个人自己的自体范围内，又要将自体的范围扩展到包含客体。这种合并或扩展是通过防御性地使用投射和内摄来实现的。当一段关系被内摄的成分所污染时，就会认为客体在某种程度上属于自体——Kohut(1971)的自恋思想所描述的那种自体客体。 It can be quickly seen that in these terms we are dealing with an extension of the basic concerns of individuation and separation that have been an integral part of the developmental process from the beginning of the child's experience. But we need to go a step further. It is our contention here that development and maintenance of the sense of identity require not only a capacity for the toleration of the separateness of objects, but that an integral part of the process is the active separation out from and over against such objects. We are bringing into focus consequently the obverse of the concerns for relatedness and belonging which we have been discussing. If the processes which underlie and build a sense of inner integrity and belonging can be seen in terms of their contribution to the process of identity formation, they must also be seen as functioning in reciprocal interaction with other processes, which serve to separate the emerging identity out from and to place it over against other objects and contexts—literally defining the emerging sense of identity in terms of such opposition. We are talking here substantially about the need for an enemy. 我们可以很快地看到，在这些术语中，我们处理的是个体化和分离的基本关注点的扩展，这些关注点从儿童经历的开始就一直是发展过程中不可分割的一部分。但我们需要更进一步。这里我们的论点是，身份感的发展和维持不仅需要容忍客体的分离，而且这个过程的一个组成部分是主动地从这些客体中分离出来，并与之对立。因此，我们正把我们一直在讨论的有关关系和归属的问题的正反问题集中起来。如果可以从对身份形成过程的贡献的角度看待构成内在完整性和归属感的基础过程，则还必须将它们视为与其他过程互惠互动的过程，这些过程用于将新出现的身份从其他客体和环境分离出来，并将其置于与之对立的位置——用这样的的对手定义新出现的身份感。我们在这里实质上是在谈论的敌人的需要。